O Laura! Would that you’d swipe right on me —
That I might read that blessed “It’s a Match!”
And on seeing my likeness, your heart catch
Fire, such that you’d draw me close to thee.

My radius is set: one hundred miles,
One hundred sighs for every mile between
My heart and yours, my fair beloved queen.
Poor Sisyphus would cower at this trial!

I’d feast mine eyes upon your doctored pics,
I’d memorize your short biography,
I’d ne’er dare ask for pictures of your tits,
I’d message first, for that is classic me!

Your swiping left wouldst slay my yearning soul —
Swipe right, my Tinder goddess … make me whole!

MONICA HANNUSH