Last week, we stripped to our diapers and armed ourselves with bows and arrows in an effort to craft the perfect new campus couple. Ten bachelors and 10 bachelorettes dared to divulge their deepest secrets in exchange for the promise of eternal love (or: a free dinner). For our queer edition, we’ve selected another five bachelors and five bachelorettes, who have revealed:
1. Their biggest Valentine’s Day regrets,
2. Their least favorite quotes,
3. The first CDs they bought,
4. Their ideal first-date drink.
Click to VOTE for your favorite candidates!
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Surfing Grindr in my hotel room alone during the great Valentine’s Day snowstorm … ultimately realizing that none of us can host!
Least favorite quote: N/A
First CD: New Orleans street performers you’ve probably never heard of
Ideal first-date drink: Satsuma Mint Soda
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: The fateful V-Day of ’08, I datelessly went to diving practice. I forget how exactly, but I ended up tripping, hitting the board, scraping against the metal like it was a cheese grater and getting an entirely bloody chest. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like the paramedics 😉
Least favorite quote: “Make America Great Again.”
First CD: Digitally? The Killers’ “Hot Fuss.” Physically? Nicki Minaj’s “Pink Friday.”
Ideal first-date drink: Coffee during the week, Jäger during the weekend.
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: V-Day ’06: crying — alone and naked — to James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” as it played on my clock radio because I didn’t tell Addie Barczewski that I loved her.
Least favorite quote: “Sex and nipple stimulation are the only proven ways to set yourself into labor. :)” — Taylor Fisher, from a series of wall posts on a pregnant Facebook friend’s page discussing the merits of using laxatives to induce labor.
First CD: Taylor Swift’s self-titled debut album “Taylor Swift”
Ideal first-date drink: Sangria
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: I have many regrets, each graver than the last. I regret that I do not have more time on this Earth to experiment with myself I regret that Blue State allows for the exploitation of large amounts of cattle and I especially regret that death is so final. However, my biggest regret with respect to Valentine’s Day is that many years ago, when the world was young and I was younger, I gave a Valentine’s Day card to a friend of mine with long blonde hair. She sucks. She is the literal worst. Anyway, I gave her the card on Friday and by Monday she had moved to another condominium and school. I was devastated and this has made me into a callous person.
Least favorite quote: “Yo, I’m in that big boy, bitches can’t rent this / I floss everyday, but I ain’t a dentist” — Nicki Minaj, “Truffle Butter”
First CD: Kelly Clarkson, “Breakaway”
Ideal first-date drink: Lukewarm Franzia infused with citrus and peanut
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Mooning my high school crush at the state championship hockey game.
Least favorite quote: “BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!” — Kanye
First CD: Ashlee Simpson, “Autobiography”
Ideal first-date drink: Ramen (sans noodles).
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Not telling Seamus I liked him in seventh grade.
Least favorite quote: “This one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.” — The Bible
First CD: Whitney Houston, “Greatest Hits”
Ideal first-date drink: Chocolate–Peanut-Butter–Pretzel Milkshakes
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: The phase in high school where I wore a lot of black in February and wouldn’t shut up about “Singles’ Awareness Day.”
Least favorite quote: “Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?” — my mother, also probably your mother.
First CD: I’ve blocked out my entire early adolescence, but it was probably either Itzhak Perlman (I’m a nerd) or Coldplay (I’m like, really white).
Ideal first-date drink: A vodka cran. People who drink their alcohol with cranberry juice value their bladder health and generally know what’s up. Also acceptable: tea.
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Giving any sort of Valentine to anyone between the ages of 11 through 13
Least favorite quote: “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.” — Anakin Skywalker, “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones”
First CD: The Goo Goo Dolls, “Superstar Car Wash”
Ideal first-date drink: Something a little fruity.
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Walking to Insomnia alone, and having a stranger roll down his car window and call me a “whore” on the walk over (I guess that wasn’t really my fault, though — cookies were still dope)
Least favorite quote: “You are special”
First CD: “The Powerpuff Girls: The Movie” soundtrack
Ideal first-date drink: Palo Viejo rum
Biggest Valentine’s Day regret: Eczema.
Least favorite quote: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
First CD: The “South Pacific” soundtrack
Ideal first-date drink: Buffalo chicken juice