Thief! Reports of thefts on, around and beyond campus have been multiplying of late. Several incidents inside the residential colleges preceded the ambush announced in Yale Police Department Chief Ronnell Higgins’ Monday night email to the community. Can never be too safe, kids.   

Knock on wood. As brutal as last winter was, data from both NASA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released this weekend indicate that 2014 was the warmest of the last 134 years. Not making any promises for this winter, but forecasts are pointing to something more tolerable than the Polar Vortex or Blizzard Nemo we’ve dealt with before.   

It’s not magic — it’s science. The Cushing-Whitney Medical Library is hosting a YUL Ball & Exhibit Opening to celebrate the beginning of its “Harry Potter’s World: Renaissance Science, Magic and Medicine” showcase today. Do you have to be 21 in the state of Connecticut to drink butterbeer?

Too buttered up. The TD Butt (of 50-most fame) opened a new, renovated facility last night in an event that secured nearly 200 online RSVPs after promising tater tots and a credit card swipe machine. And far too much toilet humor — could be the Rumpus influence getting to them.

You can try. A Sunday article by investment research firm Morningstar analyzed David Swensen’s legendary portfolio management strategy to explain why others taking similar approaches shouldn’t necessarily expect success. Reading Swensen’s book, the writer said, does as much for an investor as wearing Michael Jordan’s shoes does for a basketball player.

Handing it off. Tonight, FOOT leaders are hosting an info session for new devotees of the outdoors. Indoor homebodies need not apply.

Attn: Scott Walker. According to an article in yesterday’s New York Times Upshot section, you can still drop out of college and have a shot at the U.S. Presidency. As recently as the Grover Cleveland days, a diploma wasn’t wholly necessary, the article noted before commenting on Yale’s success in the Oval Office (we already knew that part).

Cry Wolff. Back in the political little leagues, the YPU will be debating “America’s most prominent Marxist economist,” Richard Wolff, tonight on the issue of nationalized banks.

THIS DAY IN YALE HISTORY 1989 Department officials announce that three YPD officers will be reassigned to the New Haven Police Department.

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