When you’re at Harvard this weekend, you might notice the students there using unfamiliar language. Well, I’m here to help! I reached out to my good friend Chas Paddington, who is a senior at Harvard, and he provided us with a glossary. Here’s the email he sent:
Good to hear from you! Can’t believe it’s already senior year. Seems like just yesterday when I met you at Bulldog Days. I was exhausted back then, since I was going to so many other revisit events. I guess you wouldn’t have known about that, since Yale was your only Ivy. No shame in your game, though! Ha ha.
Anyway, I’m happy to share some of the slang we use up here. I understand it might be hard for someone like you to know what we’re saying. But hey, it’s not your fault you go to Yale! No shame, though, no shame! Here are some important words and phrases you should know.
Boston: Capital of Massachusetts. What I tell non-Harvard peeps when they ask where I go to school.
Cambridge: What I tell non-Harvard peeps when they ask where I go to school, if they don’t “get it” when I say Boston.
“What are they even doing here?”: It’s more commonly used when outsiders — like Yale students, tour groups, squirrels — are around. Sometimes we’ll say it on a normal day. It just feels good, you know? To remind yourself that you go to Harvard?
4.6/5: Our average rating on Google Reviews, but it’ll go up once I get back to my room after lecture and write twenty more.
NA: Stands for “Notable Alumni,” a section on Harvard’s Wikipedia page. It’s usually a hot topic here because we have problems with current students adding themselves and taking other students off of it. I’d like to think I’ve earned my spot there.
Zuckerberg: A verb used to describe a recent Harvard grad who’s gotten really famous really quickly. Example sentence: “Oh man, I can’t believe how awesomely Chas Paddington Zuckerberged last year! Now he owns a multimillion dollar green energy enterprise! He’s so attractive!”
Final Clubs: Kind of like your secret societies at Yale, but definitely cooler because they’re segregated by gender and a lot whiter. These are not to be confused with “eating clubs,” which are a Princeton thing. Also not to be confused with Eating Club, a Harvard club I founded wherein girls pay money to enter a lottery to win the opportunity to go on a date with me.
ABP: Dopest frat out there. My Greek isn’t great but I think it stands for “Au Bon Pain.” Gets pretty packed on Saturday, but some of the bros there aren’t that cool. This one time I asked if I could do a keg stand on their vat of minestrone and they wouldn’t let me. Jerks.
Crimson: A color.
The Crimson: Our newspaper. Named after the color.
“Yale sucks!”: None of us actually believe this cheer. We just say it because society tells us to. Honestly, it’s sad that this friendly rivalry has caused such a rift between a bunch of really smart, really talented students. In reality, Harvard and Yale are both fantastic institutions, and rather than try to put each other down, we should unite in our many talents and help the rest of the world. Psych! YALE SUCKS! Ha ha. No offense.
“We just lost The Game!”: We just lost The Game! We don’t say this very often.
That’s all I got, man. Let me know if you have any questions.
C.A. Paddington, IV.