Dear Rebecca,

I can’t handle this weather. The daily fluctuations are so extreme that I end up sweating by the end of the day even if I’m cold in the morning. How will I know what to wear to Spring Fling?

Sincerely,

Frazzled Fashionista

 

Dear FF,

I’m honored you turned to me to ask this question, instead of to your favorite fashion blog. I can definitely give you a great answer, because I’m from Cleveland, and the weather in Cleveland fluctuates far more than it does here. It’s so bad, that we typically get snow in April — oh, wait, we just had snow in New Haven this week. Well, whatever. Here are my tips for dressing for an uncertain Spring Fling.

Next Saturday, we’ll be outside all day. As of press time, Weather.com predicts that the weather will be a partly-sunny 66 degrees, with 10 percent chance of precipitation. I’ll cross my fingers that ends up happening, but the weather forecast often lies — and as we saw this week, torrential rain gives no warning. You might be able to depend the liquor jacket you’ve pieced together by mid-afternoon, but you want to be dressed appropriately from the first pre-game on.

First of all, you need to carefully consider your footwear. (How will you write 65 pages of final papers if you have blisters everywhere?) If you spent your high school summers listening to Nashville’s biggest stars serenading the crowds at outdoor arenas, then you’ve probably learned that the best choice for any outdoor concert is sneakers. Rainboots could work if it’s at all muddy, but your feet and legs will be super sweaty. The cooler your kicks are, the more points you get in my book. Either way, make sure that you don’t mind your shoes getting trampled.

Beyond that, wear something that might help people spot you in a crowd. You’ll be doing yourself and your friends a favor. Last year, I spent all of Macklemore’s set being sad that I was alone, only to realize that one of my best friends was right in front of me. Had she been wearing a more colorful outfit, maybe I would have seen her there.

I typically go with a monotone bottom (shorts or a skirt, pants would be too hot) with a fun shirt on top. Freshman year, I wore a belly-dancer shirt, which you would not be remiss in equating with a body-sized jingling dog collar. This was really helpful because my friends could hear the melody of the metal coins hitting each other during the lull between sets and find me. Last year, I wore a top that I can’t really describe, beyond the fact that it was beaded with sequins and from China. Over it, I wore a fur-lined denim vest. Neither covered my belly button , but I don’t think that mattered. The denim vest, one of my trademarks, couldn’t be missed. Look for pictures on Facebook.

The bottom line is that next Saturday’s weather really doesn’t matter. Your primarily goal in dressing for Spring Fling is finding an outfit that will be remembered, and that will help you stay with your friends. If you succeed, you’ll be able to spot yourself in the pictures taken from stage.

Look for me in my gold sneakers,

Rebecca

***

Dear Rebecca,

It’s Passover, and I was doing really well with my Myrtle diet. How can I observe the holiday without backtracking all the way to my pre-New Year’s resolution lifestyle?

Matza Molly

 

Dear MM,

Unfortunately, as with most Jewish holidays, the focus of Passover ends up being on food — even when almost everything that we’re allowed to eat seems inedible.

One of my friends calls Passover food “fake food,” and I think she’s right. The main food groups for the holiday seem to be carbs, eggs, and foam. And at Slifka, the chefs seem to have mastered the ability to remove the nutritional from even the vegetables they serve.

I’m not about to give you advice on dieting, though I’m enticed to suggest you try subsisting on smoothies and fruit for the remainder of the holiday.

I will suggest that instead of focusing on how upset you are about what food you’re being forced to put in your body, you focus on the other meaning of the holiday. Passover is all about freedom, right? So free yourself from the peer pressure of working towards that Myrtle body and remember that your ancestors were slaves in the land of Egypt. The rules set for Passover are the reminders of even greater limitations. And though you might be working like a slave through reading week, at least you’re not being forced to build the pyramids.

You’re free to reject society’s expectations for you, and use this time to reset those you have for yourself. Instead of working towards a Myrtle body, or even cramming for a perfect grade, remember you have the freedom to aspire to whatever you want. After eight days of constipating and flavorless meals, maybe we’ll all be able to see this more clearly.

Between now and then, I’ll see you at lunch in Slifka for some passover potato pasta.

Yours in carbs and eggs,

Rebecca

 

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