The joke’s on you. Yalies across campus exercised their pranking muscles yesterday in celebration of April Fools’ Day. Some pranksters strung red and yellow banners reading “Going out of business” and “Everything 75% off” from Sterling Memorial Library, while Branford Master Elizabeth Bradley MPH ’95 GRD ’96 told her students in a Monday email that she would retire at the end of the year and merge Branford with JE to form either “Branward” or “Jonathan Bran.” Of course, Bradley assured students that God Quad will continue to exist.

The News jokes too. Did you read Cross Campus yesterday? Confused? Don’t worry. Like much of Yale, the News celebrates April Fools’ too.

Unrest in Cambridge? As if things at Harvard weren’t already stressful enough, students can now add one more thing to their list. An online petition calling on Harvard to rescind rapper Tyga’s appearance at Yardfest has already garnered more than 1,700 signatures. The petition accuses Tyga, known for his song “Rack City,” of lyrics that “promote sexism and rape culture.”

He doesn’t bite. In a striking display of cheeky ingenuity, a New Haven police officer successfully frightened two wanted men out of a house on Friday by imitating a barking police dog, according to The New Haven Register. Following a car chase, the two criminals were spotted inside a mostly abandoned house. After the officers threatened to release the canines, which were not actually present, one officer decided to imitate a barking dog instead. It worked, and the suspects surrendered.

“To (All) the Colleges that Rejected Me.” In a scathing column published Friday in The Wall Street Journal, a high school senior sarcastically discussed college rejections by attacking applicants that she wrote could only be admitted after starting fake charities that “provid[e] veterinary services for homeless people’s pets,” taking internships with “precocious-sounding title[s]” and having more diversity than a “saltine cracker.” The piece has garnered national attention and nearly 600 comments as of press time.

Moving up. President Barack Obama has announced his intention to nominate Brian Deese LAW ’09 to Deputy Director of the Office of Management and Budget. Deese is currently the deputy assistant to the president and deputy director of the National Economic Council.

THIS DAY IN YALE HISTORY 1992 The Yale Admissions Office admits a record number of women and minorities for the Class of 1996, the first class expected to have a 50-50 male-to-female ratio.

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