Here we go — the last hoorah, the final frontier: The Heterosexual Scene! The straighties flooded — FLOODED — our email inboxes with requests and profiles, clamoring to earn a coveted spot in our dating game.
Read through these profiles and vote for your favorite bachelor and your favorite bachelorette. The two winners will be paired up and sent on a blind date! Share this poll with EVERYONE YOU KNOW. We know you want to. PLUS: Read all about our second Blindest Date winners’ vegetarian adventure.
SPECIAL TREAT: POLLS WILL BE OPEN ALL THROUGHOUT SPRING BREAK. RESULTS TO BE ANNOUNCED AFTERWARDS.
The Guys
Bachelor #1
Major: Applied mathematics
Interests: Basketball, singing, video games, track and field.
Random fact: I try to appear really bad ass, but I’m really just an awkward hopeless romantic.
Looking for: A lady who has good manners, who is easy to talk to, who has passion for what she does.
Bachelor #2
Major: American Studies
Interests: Other people’s passions.
Random fact: I was bullied in middle school.
Looking for: Eye contact, spunky, self-deprecating.
Bachelor #3
Major: Economics
Interests: Huntin’ bucks and drivin’ trucks.
Random fact: I’ve never actually shot a buck, but I do have a truck.
Looking for: Someone to cruise the dirt roads with me.
Bachelor #4
Major: Writing concentrator doing a poetry thesis.
Interests: Fresh water aquariums, poetry, Freud, certain particular mothers. The television show TUGS.
Random fact: Two — Harold Bloom called me “The Gloomy Thersites of [my] generation.” My therapist said I could be a professional amends writer.
Looking for: Courage.
Bachelor #5
Major: Sociology and Environmental Studies
Interests: Having a good time, music, cooking, dancing and making people laugh.
Random fact: I used to dance on old-school 4-wheeled skates.
Looking for: A chill girl who is easygoing and willing to try new things.
Bachelor #6
Major: Biomedical Engineering
Interests: Hip-hop and soul, long boarding, hiking, football, and just hanging out with friends.
Random fact: I’m trilingual and my name rhymes with a famous landmark.
Looking for: Someone who finds joy in the little things. Someone calm and collected. Someone who likes to go out and have fun.
Bachelor #7
Major: Mechanical Engineering
Interests: Raging, traveling (especially abroad), the outdoors, volleyball, flute, social entrepreneurship, global health, raging.
Random fact: Half Cambodian, half Latvian/Russian.
Looking for: Adventurous, solid sense of humor, athletic, easygoing, confident, fun.
Bachelor #8
Major: Sociology
Interests: Break dancing, writing music, watching and talking about movies.
Random fact: A long, long time ago, I was rocking a jew-fro.
Looking for: A girl who’s got some sass in her and knows how to use it.
Bachelor #9
Major: History and Philosophy
Interests: I love backpacking, rock climbing, and whitewater kayaking. I have a love for music (I play the bass guitar with a bunch of different guys around campus), international relations, normative ethics, animal rights, soccer, the Green Bay Packers and collies.
Random fact: I have a twin brother at the University of Florida
Looking for: A cute girl who is willing to have some fun, who is funny and who is outgoing.
Bachelor #10
Major: Physics
Interests: Pottery, metalworking, running, rock climbing, reading Russian literature.
Random fact: I once went into zero gravity!
Looking for: I would love someone who is interested in doing things outside, like hiking in the woods, playing frisbee, or laying on the grass (at least when it is warmer).
Bachelor #11
Major: Music
Interests: Songwriting, “Arrested Development,” improv comedy, Carly Rae Jepsen, sushi.
Random fact: I once won a pie-eating contest. It was blueberry.
Looking for: A genuine connection during conversation, even if we’re talking about the weather.
The Gals
Bachelorette #1
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Bachelorette #2
Major: Molecular, cellular and developmental biology
Interests: Dancing, Google Docs, dogs, smoothies, the fact that mike from “Homeland” is Shane Omen from “Mean Girls.” And smiling’s my favorite!
Random fact: In kindergarten, my career goal was to work at Subway because I thought latex gloves were awesome.
Looking for: A guy who’s sweet, funny, really passionate about something, and just has that boom badoom boom boom badoom boom bass.
Bachelorette #3
Major: Anthropology. Otherwise known as “academic people watching.”
Interests: Making music, YouTube videos, cooking sumptuous feasts for friends, mental health, interior & graphic design, whiskey & ginger, cats & dogs, my family, and the trajectory of Lykke Li, Robyn, and other Swedish pop stars’ careers within the American pop landscape.
Random fact: I have three tattoos, only two of which you can see with the *naked* eye!
Looking for: Somebody with a lot of love to give, a lot of knowledge to share, and enough time to enjoy a good adventure each week.
Bachelorette #4
Major: Anthropology (#anthro4ever — ask me about my main man Clifford Geertz!)
Interests: Wine tasting, late-night Hemingway, border crossings, all things fur, vodka martinis (straight- up), post-modern feminism, and the 3 “R”s: red lipstick, Rudy’s and rowers.
Random fact: I won my county’s spelling bee championship. Twice.
Looking for: I like quirk, a healthy sense of adventure, and abs. Ideally he can talk about Tolstoy, fix things when they break and ski. Foreign accents a plus. Nice Jewish boys finish first.
Bachelorette #5
Major: Global Affairs and Ethnicity, Race & Migration
Interests: Dancing on elevated surfaces, traveling to countries that most people deem “dangerous,” talking to random people on the street without getting jumped.
Random fact: Dave Matthews once asked me to hop into a hot tub of German chocolate cake with him.
Looking for: Someone who is witty and doesn’t take himself too seriously; someone who is worldly yet overall has interests different from mine such that I can learn from him. He also would preferably be over 5’11” but that is negotiable.
Bachelorette #6
Major: Mafia Studies (lots of real-world business experience, but a suspiciously low graduation rate …)
Interests: Bicycles, burritos, beer and bubble baths.
Random fact: I sat next to Jay-Z at the Miami airport and got so nervous that when I said hello, I called him “Mr. Jay-Z.”
Looking for: The fashion sense of Dean Marichal Gentry, the gravitas of Ronnell Higgins, the mustache of Peter Salovey and the money of Richard Levin.
Bachelorette #7
Major: Psychology
Interests: Crossword puzzles, long walks, yoga and Joan Didion.
Random fact: I’ve never spent more than $15 on a haircut.
Looking for: Someone who is unpretentious and honest, and likes wine.
Bachelorette #8
Major: History (?)
Interests: Everything and yet nothing. More specifically, jug band music, Anselm Kiefer, hockey, G&T, sleeping on couches, hiking, hedgehogs, George Orwell’s “Politics and the English Language”, Catch-22s, the environment, skinny-dipping.
Random fact: The other morning I cried over how beautiful whale sharks are.
Looking for: Dark hair, cynicism, glasses, knowledge of obscure Eastern European historical figures, cynicism, interesting/cute birthmark, cynicism, desire to move to New Mexico and start an arts commune. Must like 4 a.m. strolls through New Haven.
Bachelorette #9
Major: Political Science (Environmental politics)
Interests: Singing and wine and humor.
Random fact: A man once pulled up his pant leg to show me a tattoo of himself as a pinup girl.
Looking for: Someone who makes me want to be a better person.
Bachelorette #10
Major: Economics
Interests: Sporcle, Scrabble, playground swings, The Beatles, the NHL, all kinds of cheeses, Eskimo kisses and overweight animals.
Random fact: I dyed part of my hair purple as a reward for getting a summer job! But nobody can see it! 🙁
Looking for: Someone who is goofy, hunky and kind, and smells nice. He’d stop tickling me when I say so and understand when I take the whole blanket. he isn’t too cool to hold my hand or my pet hamster.
Bachelorette #11
Major: Political Science
Interests: Kitties, film scores, warm cookies, dazzling summer mornings.
Random fact: I was in a commercial for Lil’ Miss Mermaid bath toys when I was six.
Looking for: A wicked sense of humor, a kind smile, the body of Michelangelo’s David … someone who will be the king I know he is (the king I see inside).