Have you been dismayed by the lack of media coverage on the Yale presidential search? Do you fervently wish that somebody, anybody, would just take this job?

If so, fear not, because a Yale School of Management graduate has published a new column on Insider Higher Education in which he openly — and somewhat satirically — declares his candidacy for the University’s top job.

Wick Sloane SOM ’84, the author and self-appointed presidential nominee, has a number of points detailed on his “Eli-genda.” He starts off by suggesting that since so many Yalies were involved in the Iraq War — including former U.S. President George W. Bush ’68, U.N. Ambassador John Bolton ’70 LAW ’74 and former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney — the first thing he would do as president would be to apologize for the war.

Sloane also advocates closing the “long-inert” School of Management, where he graduated, arguing that the school has strayed away from its roots over the years.

“The school fails to land at the top of the plain-vanilla business-school rankings,” Sloane writes. “Why would a nontraditional, innovative program expect to be on the same list as Harvard, Stanford or Wharton? I thought the Yale brand was about leading, not following.”

In addition, Sloane makes a case for non-traditional students and argues that nearly 20 percent of each entering class should be devoted to Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans.

Sloane does note, however, that when Hillary Clinton “picks Yale as her Ike/Columbia staging area for the U.S. Presidency,” he will drop out of the Yale presidential race.

What a shame.