1) “Let’s get a meal sometime!”

Let’s not.

2) “I go to school in New Haven.” That’s in Massachusetts, right?

3) “So, what are you doing this summer?”

How about we talk about it in September when you ask me how my summer went.

4) “I haven’t slept in [insert # here] [insert unit of time here]!” If unit of time is hours, don’t expect me to be impressed.

5) “There is no food in the dining hall.”

Really? None? None at all?

6) “Sorry, can’t tonight! Sillidinner with my sillisibs.”

I guess I’m eating Trumbalone.

7) snaps in conversation

Well, I guess it’s better than clapping in conversation.

8) “Excuse me, are you Jewish?”

If I’m not, can I still go on Birthright?

9) “Sorry, can’t tonight! I’ve got society.”

And it’s really secret, so don’t tell anybody.

10) “That’s why I chose —”

Stop it. Now.

– Magazine Staff