A year ago, my girlfriend and I drove to the base of Stone Mountain in Georgia. We spent two hours hiking up the three-mile trail to the mountain’s peak. At the top, we set up a picnic and shared a meal as we watched the sun set. In the fall, we would head in different directions. She would stay in Georgia; I would not.
College brought opportunities to meet new people. We agreed that a long-distance relationship would not be in our best interests, but that at the end of that summer we would still be close friends and still have countless memories, and if we were truly meant to be, it would work itself out.
Since coming to Yale, I have had a few dates, but there is no one at the moment I could say is ma petite amie or mi novia.
For those of us who will not be giving or receiving love letters, kisses or singing Valentines today, Valentine’s Day could seem like Single Awareness Day. But being single isn’t as bad as my favorite movie genre might have you believe. The name Valentine comes from the Latin valens, which means “worthy, strong, powerful.” People who are single exhibit those traits every day.
I realize that being single has given me more time to explore new hobbies and develop old ones. Since my last relationship, I have picked up a few new hobbies like learning card tricks, experimenting with chiromancy and even joining a dance group. When I do find that special someone, I will know new activities for us to enjoy together.
When you are single, you discover what makes you happy. You are free to meet new people and date freely if you wish. In your spare time, do you want to have movie nights with friends, take random trips to New York or even indulge in “The Hunger Games”? If you can’t be happy about yourself, can you really expect to be happy in a relationship?
While my grandmother would say it is way too early to think about marriage or my love life, I must admit that, sometimes, I do wish I had someone special to spend a Friday night watching “50 First Dates” with, someone to read the little love notes I leave under her pillow or someone who I could tell about my day, goals and worries. Of course, I have my friends, but it’s just not the same.
For those who are still hoping to find love or someone close at Yale, realize that even if you have not found a close friend, hope is not lost.
Two weeks ago, I was still frantically searching for screw dates for three of my friends. After hours of failed phone calls and text messages, I turned to Facebook. With a simple post, I was blasted, in just under an hour, with about 40 offers, each describing roommates’, suitemates’ or even the poster’s personalities, pastimes and preferences.
I created a Google Doc and sent it out to the whole freshman class. I would help others in my position find screw dates. When I closed the application two days later, I had over 140 requests.
Five of my friends and I read through each response, and we were amazed at how diverse everyone’s interests were. But even more amazing was the number of people with similar interests who did not even know each other. We paired them together.
We put the poster who wrote, “I am a girl taking two physics classes, looking for someone who loves math and science,” with the “Guy taking multiple 300-level math courses. Looking for person who likes to talk about math and science.” The one who said, “My suitemate loves dance and theater” went to screw with “My roommate is a dancer.”
While the pairings my friends and I made are not in any way soul matches, we realize that there are plenty of Yalies out there who would be instant friends if they ever knew the other existed.
So to the Yalies who post on YaleFML looking for a hookup, a boyfriend or even a close friend, please know that there are people out there who feel the same way, and even if you do not find what you are looking for here, you have the rest of your life to look. Today, show that you are worthy, strong and powerful.
Davis Nguyen is a freshman in Berkeley College. Contact him at email@example.com.