Oh, hey! Good to see you. Hope your Thanksgiving break was good. You go home? See the fam? Cool; cool. Yeah, I didn’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I couldn’t have seen them — I totally could’ve. Yeah, I’m actually from Hamden, so it’s like a ten-minute drive from campus, but I just, like, didn’t have the time, you know?

What was I doing?

It’s weird, but I was just so busy! I used Monday to knock out all of the work I have to do for the next three weeks. You know, study for all five of my finals, write about sixty pages’ worth of papers. I would just hate having that hanging over my head, you know? It. Was. A. Rush. It’s just like — phew, done!

Haha, yeah.

What? You didn’t do any work? Like, at all? That sucks, man. Well, at least you were, like, applying for jobs and stuff, right?

You weren’t?


Oh, no, I’m sure it’s fine — I mean, I don’t know. I just, when I get really anxious, whereas other people become debilitated or overwhelmed, I get really PRODUCTIVE, you know? So yeah, I just spent Tuesday, like, writing writing writing! Cover letters. I really think that’s one of my talents, is cover letters. It just comes so naturally! I must’ve sent out, I don’t know, a thousand? Yeah, like a thousand cover letters.

Why, is that a lot?

Anyway, so on Wednesday I had, like, a few hundred interviews for really well-paying, creatively stimulating jobs, and since Thursday was Thanksgiving or whatever, I didn’t hear back until Friday, but as it turns out, I got all of them.

Isn’t that wild? I mean, I don’t know if that’s normal. Is that normal? To get all of the jobs, I mean.

What am I thinking of doing? Well, I mean, I’m kind of torn. About half of them, like two hundred or so, are six-figure gigs working as an ice cream and video game tester and consultant. Yeah, you can do both at the same time, like video games AND ice cream, or alternate, like video games THEN ice cream then video games again; they let you choose. And the other half of them are six-figure gigs working as a muse.

So I have to decide about that soon, but I’m kind of enjoying having them fight over me. I know, it’s silly; I just love all of their desperate pleas for my amazingly versatile skill set. They’re just like, “Aw, man, you gotta come work for us! Are those other guys giving you health insurance? We’ll give you better health insurance! Here’s another hundred thousand dollars on your salary!” And then the other guys will come back and be like, “Are they giving you a car? We’ll give you a car! You can just have it! You don’t even have to take the job! We like you so much we just want you to have this car!” Anyway, to make matters worse, I also found out I’m a Highways Scholar, so that’s just another option on my overwhelmingly amazing pile of potential options for next year.

What’s a Highways Scholarship?

Oh, it’s like a Rhodes Scholarship, but like, more prestigious and selective. Yeah, no, thanks! I was like, really honored and surprised when I found out I got it. I mean, everyone was telling me I’d get it, and I kind of figured I would, but you never know, you know?

So yeah, I was pretty beat by Saturday, so I just ran a marathon and climbed a mountain and did a few hours of yoga and read all of the books I said I’d read for pleasure and went to bed!

You know, I admire you. No, really! I just feel like if I had to do everything you have to in the next two weeks, I’d have a heart attack or something. I mean, not with MY heart since, you know, yoga.

But still.