The students of Davenport College shall never surrender.

In an e-mail to the Davenport community early this morning, Nate Zelinsky ’13 wrote that the “Davenport Department of Gnomeland Security” responded to reports of an attempted heist perpetrated by a band of Piersonites. The victim was Davenport’s gnome, and a “team of crack gnome commandos” led by Daniel Zelaya ’13 arrived at the scene and “prevented the gnome’s removal,” the e-mail said.

The gnome, safe once again, was returned to its rightful place in the dining hall next to the juice dispenser.

If you have any information regarding this case or should witness suspicious activity, please report it immediately to Gnomeland Security.