I have decided to write this despite the relative creepiness of blogging about a peer (Oh my god — I’m totally sort of James Franco’s GRD ’16 peer) who I don’t even have contact with except for when I accidentally get a latte at the opportune time on Wednesday mornings (Oh my god — we totally both drink coffee), because I have a bone to pick with him.
James Franco, your Twitter sort of sucks.
Look, I get it. Twitter’s hard. I don’t really ever tweet, although that’s mainly because I don’t have a smart phone so by the time I get back to my laptop I’ve forgotten whatever witty hashtag I thought up while sitting in seminar. And I would usually never berate someone for tweeting inadequately, because that would be hypocritical — but James Franco is not just some rando on Twitter. He’s a Celebrity Tweeter, which deserves all caps and necessitates a higher quality of meaningless, incessant electronic communication.
So far, he’s been tweeting a lot of random links to pictures and replies to other celebrities. The pictures are okay in that a few are of him: candids are a Celebrity Tweeter staple. On the other hand, a lot of them — like this one — look like a fourteen-year-old girl with emo bangs and a Tumblr account attacked them with a few of her favorite Photoshop filters.
Also, James, please figure out Twitpic.
Beyond that, there’s not much — no pithy statements, no “location reveals” that would make my campus-wide stalking easier (Just kidding. I swear). Basically, nothing approaching the gold standard set by even a single Kanye “I just threw some kazoo on this bitch” West tweet.
Still, I hold out hope. After all, it’s only been a few days since the birth of @jamesfranco. And his profile picture — sitting with his arm around a television upon which is a statue of a cat — shows some serious promise: I have no doubt that James Franco will reach the heights of insane (and insanely follow-able) celebrity someday.
As Kanye would say, #ITSAPROCESS.