This week on “Savage Love,” sex-columnist Dan Savage’s regular installment of raunchy sex advice, a “straight acting” gay dude with the very clever pseudonym “Straight Actor” wrote in about how masculine and burly and like totally out of touch he is with flaming gay bois. This bro can fix a car, is not attracted to “faggy” men, and never uses the word “fabulous.” All this despite the fact that he majors in musical theatre!
People — gay and straight — are so picky about how they like their gays. Some want “Str8 Acting” Abercrombie bros, some like ‘em with a tank full of sugar, and some couldn’t care less. Every gay reading this has come across a Manhunt/Adam4Adam/ DList profile that’s like, “If you open your mouth and your purse falls out, we’re not a match.” Oh pop off, you genderists!
Let me tell you something, Straight Actor. It takes a lot of balls to be a huge, flaming queer. You’re basically begging everyone to call you out for not being boring and dull and straight-acting like everybody else. Fabulous is risky business, people. Try walking around in a pair of Nina Ricci heelless boots.
But what do you think? Is there such a thing as being TOO gay? What’s wrong with a boy in a sequin embroidered cat suit?