Yale got a shout-out in Thursday night’s season premiere of “The Office” when Kelly Kapoor (played by Mindy Kaling) said she had attended the “Minority Executive Training Program at Yale” over the summer. “I’m, like, really smart now,” she said. (There is no such event. And Kaling herself is a 2001 graduate of Dartmouth College.)

In other network television-related news, the producers of The Early Show on CBS canceled the Yale Precision Marching Band’s appearance, which was slated for Monday morning. “I think it might be that we are simply too good-looking to be seen on air,” YPMB manager Tasia Smith ’12 said in an e-mail to YPMB members.

The announcement of Yale’s endowment return, expected Thursday, has been pushed back until today. Administrators say they expect a positive return, somewhere between zero and 10 percent, and investment experts say the return will probably mirror that of Harvard’s endowment, which gained 11 percent this past fiscal year. Check yaledailynews.com later today for the official figure.

A-list celebrity, D-grade student? Yale’s new heartthrob, James Franco GRD ’16, has been a familiar face at New York University’s Tisch School for the Arts, where he took an acting class — and got a D, the actor told Showbiz411.com Wednesday. But at least he has an excuse: Franco pointed out that he missed a lot of classes to shoot “127 Hours,” which opens Nov. 5.

As for Vinny Guadagnino LAW ’14? Alas, the “Jersey Shore” star said in an interview with New York magazine’s Vulture blog published on Thursday that he’s abandoning his dream of going to Yale Law School to pursue an acting career instead.

Feeling lonely? Students from the Paul Mitchell Cosmetology School in Danbury, Conn., waved pink posters offering free hugs — but no styling gel — on the corner of Broadway and York Street on Thursday night.

Calling all class clowns. Today’s the last day to register for “The Last Comic Standing” competition on Oct. 2, which will determine who will open the Yale College Council Fall Show the following week.

Morse College was briefly evacuated after a fire alarm went off Thursday … at 3:45 in the morning.

THIS DAY IN YALE HISTORY

1940 Campus police question and search two men who were seen acting suspiciously on Old Campus. Officers found large quantities of Philip Morris cigarettes and counterfeit half-dollars.

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