Nicaragua in Four (okay, three) Hotel Shampoos

Hotel Shalom, Managua

$55/Night

scene didn’t use shampoo here, because you don’t provide any. You ripped us off for a hundred Cordobas and your overflowing toilet — it covered scene’s bags in chlorine-smelling water. Little wonder scene didn’t inform you “Es un gran problem con la toileta” until the second it left.

Hotel Central, Jinotega

$10/Night

This quiet mountain hotel at the center of town provided Head and Shoulders for Brown Hair which kept scene’s hair soft and springy until the next evening. Your bed was cozy, your fan efficient — scene had the best night’s sleep here in forever. The only downside was the lack of a full roof in the upper lobby.

Posada de la Doña Blanca, León

$30/Night

This cozy and relaxing B&B in Nicaragua’s main University town and center of the 1979 revolution provided a classic Pantene that held scene’s hair straight, if a little greasy, for a whole day of gruelling visits to cathedrals and monuments.

Best Western, Managua

$85/Night

Okay, for your extra buck you get air-con, hot water and internet (whoo), but, seriously, after showering, scene’s hair felt squeaky and horrid, ready to absorb the horrific Managua pollution. At least it’s only a quick walk across the street (read: highway) to the airport.