P-P-Paris Fashion Week is here! It’s the only fashion week that actually matters, so there are many shows to look forward to! Today: Dries Van Noten and Gareth Pugh! Let’s highlight some of the hottest looks that walked today.

Dries Van Noten

DVN didn’t use a single model of color, which annoys me just a wee bit. But the collection itself is loose and whimsical. I love this short sleeved green coat, because it’s already its own piece. It’s like a long, belted shirt! Just imagine how many women will wear that coat with a fierce pair of boots and nothing else. Amahzing. Just don’t get the coat jammed in the escalator.

Also! Dries wants to smother you in leopard print this fall. Prrrrr. I’d never match leopard print – which is already super loud – with a neon green floral print. That’s a lotta prints! But this look really amuses me, because it looks like she got dressed in the closet. In those sunglasses. With the lights turned off. Oh but what a faaaaaaaabulous closet it is!

Gareth Pugh

Man I miss the old Gareth, the one who designed couture bunny outfits and couture jousting outfits or whatever they’re called. That was the Crazy, Zany, Zonked Out On LSD Gareth. I liked him because he was the only designer who created like that, who basically used Fashion Week to make a bunch of funny outfits that don’t make any sense. And now? Introducing ready-to-wear Gareth!

That’s right, now his clothes are totally wearable, but still artistic and a touch bizarre. Yeah! Drape that car mat around your neck and call it a leather jacket! I love this look because it is still punctuated by Gareth’s high concept style. Like, you would probably stare at somebody who came to a party wearing this.

Or maybe you would stare if she wore THIS!!! God I need to walk around New Haven in this jacket. People will be like…What The Fak? This is how you take a super high fashion look and make it mass, so at least Gareth is still true to his roots. Couture is fabulous, but capitalism still rules at the end of the day.

Oh — one last thing. I’m not TOO terribly hot on the purple genie pants. I love you, Gareth, but this is a piping hot mess. I get that designers are trying to pull us away from the men in skinny jeans thing, but a pair of genie pants is not the answer!

TOMORROW: Balenciaga, Balmain, Rick Owens and Nina Ricci!! OMG!!!