If you’re in a relationship over Valentine’s Day weekend, you’re set. I can offer you no other advice than to stick with with your significant other until Monday morning.

So this is to all my single ladies. And men. Single men, too.

Suggested methods for tackling this unholy weekend:

  • Celebrate Sex Week with porn stars at Toad’s on Saturday!
  • Celebrate Sex Week by getting tested!
  • Down the cookies in the care package your parents sent you. Cherish the unconditional love of your mom, pop and newly conceived food baby.
  • Get a lot of work done. It’s nearly mid-terms, for Pete’s sake.
  • Good Crush it up.

    • Good Crush is getting SERIOUS. The field of anonymous declarations of love is growing, and if people don’t start getting together because of it, we might as well go to Cambridge and wrench the loveless award from Harvard’s chaste grasp.

    If there is one mantra to repeat over and over again, it is the chorus of this song, “I Am Not A Robot,” by Marina and the Diamonds.

    My friend Cathy included this track on her annual Valentine’s Day mix. It illustrates a good message. Yes, you might want to protect yourself from the crushing depression of this holiday with icy cynicism and a stream of deliberately meaningless hookups. But remember this: you are not a robot. Abuse Good Crush like there will be no Monday morning awkwardness, and open yourself up to love.