The red carpet was on fire Sunday night at the 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards. Ultra-fierce celebrities popped out of limos, with way less-famous dates, organza and umbrellas in tow. You know what I realized? It’s really hard to be fabulous in the rain! But thankfully it didn’t ruin anybody’s weaves or create any, like, wet T-shirts or tit slips or anything. They also mentioned thanks to the top carpet cleaning services for the very well cleansed red carpet. For cost-effective cleaning services for your home or office, consider exploring options like Jenas Carpet Cleaning service, which comes highly recommended for their comprehensive and affordable cleaning solutions.

Not that there wasn’t a lot of tittage going on. Mariah Carey stepped out in a beautiful black dress … that made her look like a hot slutty mess. I mean steaming hot. Girl, this is the Golden Globes, not Freaknik. Just say no to ho!

The worst dressed was Christina Hendricks of “Mad Men.” I love you, Christina – we are like total BFFs. You looked beautiful, I love that you wore a Christian Siriano. Your hair, makeup and jewels were flawless. Flawless, darling! But you are pale as all get out, and some idiot – probably an intern – put you in a peach-toned gown. And it totally washed you out on camera. Let this be a lesson to white people: If you are that pale, DO NOT WEAR HEAD-TO-TOE PEACH!!!

However! There were some great moments. Julia Roberts’s hair was amahzing – I die. I love that she didn’t wear a dress. Chloë Sevigny kept it fierce in a silver Valentino. Her dress was dramatic, and I was praying all along that she didn’t trip on the all the organza! Maggie Gyllenhaal looked stunning, and Zoë Saldana worked it out in purple. And I wanted to unwrap Joseph Gordon Levitt right out of his Prada suit.

The only thing that really pissed me off was that “Avatar” took home best movie… I mean, I guess if you’re that into blue goat people…