Damn you, James Cameron! DAAAAMMMNN YOOOOOU! Best Picture AND Best Director? Come on, Hollywood Foreign Press Association! Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger pronounces “Avatar” as “Avadar.” Hilarity ensues.

Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress, Drama for “The Blind Side.” She was also nominated for “The Proposal.” 2009 was a weak year for American cinema.

The Dude (Sir Jeff of Bridges) wins Best Actor, Drama for “Crazy Heart.” The crowd goes nuts; he gets a standing O. It’s about time!

Bros everywhere gain a point of legitimacy as “The Hangover” beats out hipster romcom(dram?) “(500) Days of Summer” and 2009’s Meryl Streep vehicle, “Julie and Julia.” Zach Galifianakis wasn’t there — what gives? Whatever … he’s still cool.

Meryl Streep wins for “Julie and Julia.” They should stop nominating other people and just give her the award. SHE’S UNBEATABLE!

Robert Downey Jr. wins for “Sherlock Holmes.” He’s the edgiest actor in mainstream Hollywood, even if “Holmes” wasn’t stellar. With any luck, he’ll be back next year and the year after and the year after that.

Mo’nique wins for “Precious.” She gives an emotional speech (in which she doesn’t thank the Foreign Press … whoops!), but it’s too heartfelt to be sappy.

Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor for “Inglorious Basterds.” Probably my favorite performance all year — way to go, Waltz!

“Up” wins for Best Animated (duh). Michael Giacchino wins for Best Original Score.

“Up in the Air” gets stiffed for all categories except Best Screenplay. We’ll see how it fares during the Oscars.

T Bone Burnett wins Best Original Song for “Crazy Heart,” gives what might be the most incoherent speech in Golden Globe history.

And in the television categories, some game-changers take place:

Julianna Margulies beats incumbent Anna Paquin, and powerhouses Glenn Close and January Jones to win Best Actress in a Drama.

“30 Rock” loses its dominion over Best Comedy to “Glee.” Drama geeks everywhere rejoice.

Ricky Gervais’ style doesn’t quite mesh with the Golden Globes. In my opinion, he’s a bit too edgy for the whole affair. In any event, he was able to fire off the best dis I’ve ever seen at an awards show: “I like a drink as much as the next man, unless the next man is Mel Gibson!”

Overall, underwhelming. 2009 was a year for duds, and the glimmers of hope among the ashes didn’t quite get the recognition they deserved (“The Hurt Locker,” anybody?). Hopefully Tarantino, Bigelow and Reitman will fare better in the big show in March.