Heading back to high school
Freshmen love to reconnect to their high school teachers and friends over winter break.
“Oh hey, yeah, college is pretty sick. I totally have not paid for alcohol like all year. We don’t even have RAs!”
But instead of busting a nut all over yourself, why not spread the love by chatting it up with some senior girls — in high school? They all want to get into college and will want to ask you all sorts of questions about essays and applications and standardized tests — all stuff scene’s sure you think about on a daily basis.
The non-denominational G-d only knows the girl/guy you crushed hard on in high school still will not dig you anyway.
What’s more sexy than a ride on a toboggan? A ride on a toboggan with a lady/man.
scene’s uncle rarely lets loose. His careers as an insurance agent and PTA board member keep him so busy that he can fit only one hour of leisure into his schedule each night, which is normally spent watching Paula Dean on TiVo or helping his wife put the kids to bed. But at your annual holiday dinner, he gets trashed. He’s a big guy too, real stocky, probably played rugby in high school. But he’s high-powered and not related to you. As he starts to stumble, slip him a whiskey sour spiked with a Cialis. When he passes out and his wife peaces, tell your family, “Hey, I’m in college. I know how to take care of drunk people.”
He may fall asleep real fast, but his body will be telling you, “Yes. I want this pseudo-incest.”
Sit at a table with your sexy friends and/or distant cousins. Whip out a dreidel from your pocket. Take turns spinning it. Depending on which side is facing up when it stops spinning, somebody strips.
a) If “nun” is facing up, the player does nothing.
b) If “gimmel” is facing up, the player gets everyone to take off a garment.
c) If “hey” is facing up, the player gets to TOTES make out with the person facing the tip of the dreidel. This can be manipulated so that the spinner will not have to suck face with some busted player.
d) If “shin” (or “peh”) is facing up, the player has to remove a garment.
Some Yalies live in “warm climates.” They return to these “warm climates” over “holiday recess.” Occasionally they spend time on the “beach,” where fit people “tan” and wade in warm water wearing nothing more than waterproof underwear. This sounds pretty sexy, and could perhaps be a great place to find your winter break love.
Mistletoe that ho
During the Holiday season, scene lubes up its lips every 30 minutes with Blistex and Aquaphor — one for sun resistance, one for sheen. scene hangs winter shrubbery on a hockey stick with some string and/or wire, and places it over any attractive person(ality) on its suburban streets. Sexual harassment or holiday festivities? With smooth, shiny lips, no one will question you.