Kati Stevens edited scene in 2005. Remember 2005? Neither do we. Anyway, she wants to go to Antarctica, and she wants you to help her do it. Here’s the pitch she sent us:
The City of Angels is on fire. Has been for a while and will continue to be for the next couple of weeks. In the two years since I moved to the paradise that is the San Fernando Valley, I have lived through drought, flooding, earthquakes, several infernos, California’s bankruptcy and subsequent gouging of my bank account, and the horror that is the 405 freeway. I spend my days working in a nominal way in the entertainment industry, the sort of thing you don’t brag about at reunions, and I make less money than everyone with whom I graduated. Everyone. Is it any wonder, then, that I long for a change of scenery?
And by change of scenery I mean trading in this blazing desert for a more translucent kind. Ever since I read Sara Wheeler’s under-worshipped travelogue of creaky, crunchy Antarctica, “Terra Incognita,” I too have dreamed of venturing to the nadir of the planet, wearing a single pair of underwear for a month, jackhammering the melting ice to make sure it’s thick enough for my Zodiac to cruise across, and completely ignoring those peripatetic penguins I keep hearing about. And then Quark Expeditions, bless their nippy hearts, decided to give away a free seat on a voyage to Antarctica to the blogger with the best social network. In February. Yes, that’s late summer for Antarctica, so the mercury will likely hover at a balmy 35 degrees Fahrenheit.
I honestly don’t know when a Yalie was last in Antarctica. There might be one holed up in a research station sipping hot cocoa and staring out the window longing for sunlight, but if that’s the case, it sure isn’t well-known. If Yalies are going to dominate the world — and I mean that in the most politically correct of ways — we need to be not only omnipresent but vocally so. As one of the most powerful non-governmental institutions on the planet, we as a university can unite in common cause to put a Yalie, and a witty, non-scientist Yalie to boot, on ice. And here’s the kicker. If I win, I get to bring a buddy, and I promise to bring the Yalie who makes the best case for it. Quid pro quo, my friends. Quid pro quo.
As the blogger from Antarctica, I vow to make incisive observations of all that I see, hear and feel, and if I can’t feel anything, I will note that as well. From our port of departure at Ushuaia to the Antarctic Peninsula and back, every moment of my expedition will be rendered in detail as exquisite as that of a 3-D Pixar film. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, you’ll wonder what the deal is with the talking dogs.
To help send a Yalie down some serious south, go to http://www.blogyourwaytoantarctica.com/blogs/view/66 to vote for me, Kati Stevens. Yes, you have to register to vote, but that’s just to make sure you only vote once per e-mail address. That said, you CAN AND SHOULD vote from every e-mail address you have. Tell your non-Yalie friends. Tell your family. Tell the guys at Gourmet Heaven. We have to beat Luis Monteiro, the current leader, a Portuguese fellow who has 5,630 votes. I know if we pull together, we can take him down.
In sum, I would like to paraphrase that man among men, Sean “Diddy” Combs: Vote — that die part was just morbid.
To read more of my writing, visit littlemissnomad.blogspot.com or follow me at @katerbee on Twitter.