Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Things I loved about it: the fighting! Come on, watching an 18-wheeler turn into a giant robot to fight another giant robot from space on top of the pyramids while American troops fire rocket launchers is fodder for any American classic. It was “The Fast and the Furious” meets “Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift.”
Things I didn’t like about it: the movie. Terrible plot, terrible acting, terribly long. Even Megan Fox was so horrible you didn’t notice she was attractive (this is a gross understatement, as I did notice she was attractive and imagined what robot she would turn into if she were a Transformer — a MacBook Pro, thus making her the perfect companion. Or maybe a toaster. Or maybe a hotter Megan Fox). Also, the movie was racist. How can a film about cars turning into robots be racist? Let’s try two cars that were beat-up ice cream trucks that turn into ghetto-talking, broken robots with buck teeth, gold chains and hatred for reading, as they are illiterate. Is it racist that I think it was racist? Perhaps. But just see the film and we can argue later.
Things I loved about it: EVERYTHING. J.J. Abrams is my master. May our paths cross one day so we can write “Star Trek: The Final Frontier: The Musical!,” which follows Klingons discovering the power of music and how dancing can fix any problems, especially when it’s well coordinated and filled with much kicking!
Things I hated about it: That one doctor guy in the movie. The guy that was in “Lord of the Rings,” you know? Where did he come from? Everyone else was so serious and, dare I say, subtle (loved you, Spock). And here the doctor comes with “GOOD GOD, MAN, DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RACING HORSES AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY?!” My guess is J.J. was too busy producing his hit new show, “Fringe.” I forgive you, J.J., for the sake of our musical love child.
500 Days of Summer
Things I loved about it: Catchy, fun, pop culture!
Things I hated about it: I didn’t get to see it. I was in Africa.
Harry Potter 6
Things I loved about it: Still in Africa.
Things I hated about it: Still in Africa.
Things I loved about it: They showed it on the plane on the way from London to Dallas.
Things I hated about it: It was a terrible movie. Well, it seemed that way from my seat, as I sneakily watched it on my neighbor’s screen. Though I couldn’t hear what they were saying, Katherine Heigel is beautiful when she moves her lips. But she kept changing dresses, and it got so TIRESOME.
Things I loved about it: Talking to friends on the other side of the world for free IS OH SO POSSIBLE!
Things I hated about it: I was in Africa and never had Internet. Also, the video chat has that tiny little box on the screen that shows your own image, which only reminded me and my Skype-mates of how tragic my beard was. With low resolution, it looked like a small child had attacked my face with a dirty crayon.