The night before the world premier of “Cold Turkey,” the now infamous original three-man play by Ethan Kuperberg, Matthew George and Will Stephen, premiered, the naughty cast decided to play a hilarious prank on some of their closest friends and allies. They told these poor souls that their show was canceled just to see what their goofy, off-the-wall reactions would be (don’t worry, it isn’t really canceled, you guys, it’s just a prank for this article)!
Here are their responses:
Us: Hey, Patrick Lee ’11, did you hear that “Cold Turkey” was cancelled?
Patrick: What’s “Cold Turkey”?
Us: Hey, Thomas Meyer ’11, did you hear that “Cold Turkey’s” no more?
Thomas: I didn’t know you did a cappella, that’s too bad.
Us: Hey, professor Murray Biggs, did you hear that our original musical extravaganza “Cold Turkey” had to be shut down because it was too good?
Murray: Where were you during class this morning?
Us: Hey, Alex Trow ’09 DRA ’12, “Cold Turkey” got shut down by the feds! Can you believe it?
Trow: That’s great! Now you can see the Dramat production of Tennessee Williams’ “Summer and Smoke” at the UT! It’s showing this Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., with a matinee on Saturday at 2 p.m.!
Us: Hey, Jon Wu ’11, “Cold Turkey” just won the YCC presidency! So it’s not going up in the Saybrook Underbrook anymore!
Jon Wu: WuTF? You guys just Wuined my day!
Us: Hey, Ward 1, “Cold Turkey” got kicked off the ballot for alderman! No more show!
Ward 1: That’s fine, I’m not voting.
Us: Hey, President Levin, “Cold Turkey” got cancelled!
President Levin: Well dammit, there goes my Friday. I was going to go to BOTH shows — the 8 p.m. and the 11 p.m. If the show weren’t cancelled, I would definitely go, you guys.
Us: Well, are we still on for Sunday brunch?
President Levin: I’ll bring the lox!
Us: Hey, Trayless Dining, did you hear “Cold Turkey” is sleeping with the fishes?
Trayless Dining: Nobody loves me.
Us: Hey, Grizzly Bear, did you hear we’re pulling a prank and telling people “Cold Turkey” was cancelled?
Grizzly Bear: Sorry, I’m in a show this weekend.
Us: Hey, “Cold Turkey,” did you hear that “Cold Turkey” was cancelled?
“Cold Turkey”: No, I didn’t, but did you know that I’m an original comedic three-person play by Ethan Kuperberg ’11, Matthew George ’11 and Will Stephen ’11 that goes up Thursday at 8 p.m., Friday at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m., and Saturday at 8 p.m. in the Saybrook Underbrook? I’m about three misguided youths who write a semi-autobiographical musical. Well, did you?
Us: Yep, we knew that, but it sounds stupid. Can’t make it.