By Mr. Goldberger

To Parents, Faculty and Students:

Hello there, friends! Mr. Goldberger here, just writing you a friendly note about how things are going here at the school. And to let you know my Shih Tzu, Dandelion, just got back from the Pet Hospital (my gardener thought she was a bush and mowed her down. She’s fine now, thanks for the prayer cards).

Now, I know Monday is a big day for everyone. You’re probably a bit nervous but I’m here to quell that fear! I realize some of you think it’s controversial to place Kenny Barrett back in school after the incident, but trust me, I’ve been working very closely with him and his family. His mother, Grace, is really something special. You might say she’s distracted, but that’s like blaming a bumble bee for buzzing near a blossom. Her new husband, Daniel, has supported her 24/7. He even makes his own potpourri!

Kenny’s younger sister, Lauren, will remain supportive as well. Though Lauren isn’t our star student (winking at you, Kate), she seems … determined. I tell her to quit those parties, but kids these days! Hear some J-Zee and they’re ready to pounce.

In other news, I’m happy to report that the “Bahama Rama Dance Dance” dance is still happening this Friday. If you want to chaperone, please contact our student coordinator Charlie (he might even make a little diddy for you too!).

I hope you feel comfortable with our decision to integrate Kenny back into the school. It’ll at least provide an engaging hour-and-a-half piece of entertainment that deals with the encroaching feeling of suburbia and how one can try to break out, no matter the cost. And it is wonderfully directed.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me or Annie. Thanks, Annie!


P.S. I hear a flight from Katenga landed in town last night. Please be friendly to any and all guests, even if their arrival is a complete surprise, especially if you are related to them. You never know what might shake until you let it bake.