The News’ View on trayless dining (Jan. 30) represents one of the many times I have been unable to tell if something was meant as a joke or not, joining the ranks of “Call into work gay day,” Rod Blagojevich’s hair and the 2005 Christmas horror movie “Santa’s Slay” as things that are just ridiculous enough to make crazed people take them seriously.
Torn between the possibility of saving our dear planet and gorging themselves on more than one serving of General Tso’s tofu, the pragmatic editorial staff proposes a Great Compromise: “Moving trays away from the entrance and the servery would discourage a number of Yalies [the blind ones] from taking them, but would not prevent us all from taking advantage of their benefits.”
Why, this makes perfect sense! Why haven’t we thought of this before? Relocate trays to an inconvenient place so nobody will ever find them! And why stop there? Why, we could also replace the serving tongs with greased chopsticks and make everyone — especially those pesky fat people — wear blind folds so nobody can see anything! Then we’ll see how much food people can waste!
I have long struggled with why exactly we pay the high prices for the meal plan. If we’re paying for inconvenience along with that delicious butternut squash gumbo, then sign me up for unlimited madcap, spill-as-you-go fun!
The writer is a sophomore in Saybrook College.