Scene loves condoms, the Pill, getting tested regularly and honest, loving communication. These safe sex practices are A-OK in our book. But some others, the ones that lurked in the later pages of “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” seem more dubious. Not dubious in their efficacy, though — we’ll take that on faith. Dubious in their existence. They are the yeti and sasquatches of birth control, implausible entities spoken of rarely and spied almost never. They are the Things of Legend.

E-mail us if you know anything about any of the following. We’re genuinely intrigued.

Dental Dam: The only fun thing about this one is that “dam” makes you think of beavers.

Female condom: This is perfect if your favorite part of using condoms is having your genitals covered in latex, and you really want to take that experience to the next level.

The cervical cap: It sounds like something you would wear if you were in a car accident, or perhaps like a jaunty chapeau. In fact, according to the Planned Parenthood Web site, “the cervical cap is a silicone cup shaped like a sailor’s hat.” Seriously.

The sponge: “Oh, I’m not too busy today. Just staying at home, washing the semen out of my sponge.”

Matchstick-sized rods implanted under the skin of your upper arm: Yum, sexy.