Dear Mr. Birbiglia,

Thanks for the performance Friday night. We liked it a whole lot, but we found someone who didn’t. So we quoted the heck out of him, obviously.

“Lame,” exclaimed Horatio Sanz ’06 as he left Commons.

Just kidding. As the arbiters of campus opinion, we couldn’t find anyone who had less than a great time. Congratulations. Everyone seemed to enjoy your critique of the NEWS and our commitment to balance, pomp and scientific polls. That was really funny. But we felt like we read those jokes before. (“Birbiglia coming, whether we like it or not,” 10/12) Hm … Maybe it was nothing.

We here at the Oldest College Daily have one question for you, Mr. Birbiglia, before you forget all about us and move on to venues more glamorous than our own Woosley Hall: How dare you insult the journalistic integrity of the Yale Daily News (the OLDEST COLLEGE DAILY)? No, seriously. Do you know who our father is?

Well … neither do we. According to the early copies, the News was founded by four anonymous Yalies who graduated some time in the late 19th century. But let’s not talk about that. We’re the Yale. Daily. News: the OLDEST COLLEGE DAILY, for Eli’s sake — and that stands for something bigger than you, bigger than us and maybe even bigger than this whole, cruel world, Mike.

And with William F. Buckley ’50 as our witness, we swear we could not find one, single, solitary person who had heard of you before we printed your name last month.

Now, that’s just being honest.

Sincerely,

The Yale Daily News