It has come to the attention of the scene desk that a residential college near you received an e-mail this Tuesday regarding the practice of engaging in intimate activities in Yale showers. We applaud Master Holloway’s concern for his Hounies and their plumbing but believe that this issue’s nether regions deserve a closer look.
Copulation at Yale should remain hygienic; this means that the shower could be an ideal place for such activities. It’s considerably preferable to a roommate’s bed, an off-campus futon, the floor of Sig Ep, the Stiles common room or the stacks. The matter at hand is not the location, but rather the state in which it was left.
If these Hounies had just taken the time to clean up after themselves — we’re not in kindergarten anymore — their master could have had more time for his other important duties. A piece of advice for other couples aspiring to join the tile-high club: Buy some Clorox and swab it down.
In fact, the Clorox could prove useful even if you can’t make it to the shower. Just imagine the stacks with that citrusy-clean feeling.
To conclude, remember that you’re in for a cold month and there are only 12 more days until Valentine’s. It’s time to turn on the hot water and get used to the checkerboard pattern on your back.
Fuck on Yalies, fuck on.