Charity Bracelets

While the benevolence of the band is admirable, everything else, especially its acquired connotation, is clearly forged in whatever layer of Hell birthed Donatella Versace. These screaming colored cuffs force an identity, and therefore lose any kind of charitable integrity. Also, save the bracelet multiplicity for Madonna circa 1987. If the trend continues, we’ll all be wearing Mother Theresa’s exhumed skin as winter parkas.

Starbucks Venti Mocha Valencias

While not an actual item of couture, the Starbucks cup serves as an accessory nonetheless (look to any skeletal Olson twin paparazzi shot). We all know Starbucks is inherently decadent, but this soupy beverage is like diabetic shock in a recyclable sleeve. Furthermore, fruit and coffee weren’t meant to me mixed ­– you can’t have everything you glutton! Ultimately, what goes in this $3.99 accessory is up to you, but don’t blame your barista when he makes a knowing glance to his co-workers.