For all 15 of you reading this (just joking, we know all you seniors are still here working on your essays), we hope you have a good spring break. And all of you who are already on a beach in Panama City, Fla. (one of the 450,000 annual spring breakers, according to United Press International) won’t be reading this anyway. So we’ll take this opportunity to curse you out. May you catch a venereal disease from an anonymous Ohio State sorority girl! (Kidding again. Kind of.)

Sit back and smell the suntan lotion. Or sit back and realize that the year is already winding to a close — and you’ve accomplished nothing other than getting really good at multitasking AIM windows and perfecting your beer pong shot.

Or maybe you’ve accomplished a lot: Opened an orphanage, solved global warming, done all of your reading for the semester while playing a varsity sport and managing to maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other.

In which case we really will curse you out. We hope your girlfriend hooks up with a syphilitic defensive lineman from Ohio State.

No, but seriously, unless you’re soused out of your mind for all two weeks, you can’t help but contemplate the passing year a little over break. (And we fully support being soused out of your mind.)

March is, of course, the time to think about the deeper things: What have I done this year? Who have I done this year? Have I done anyone this year? Did I turn my heat off? Am I emotionally fulfilled?

But in the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might just find you get what you need.” (Keith Richards might be rumored to have his blood replaced every six months because of decades of heroin use, but the man knows what he’s talking about.)