This article has been corrected. You may view this article’s correction here.

After a heated, top-secret Yale Corporation meeting Wednesday during which members voted against University President Richard Levin’s proposal to move Yale to Palo Alto, CA, next door to Stanford University, administrators burst into tears as they exited Woodbridge Hall into the rainy New Haven afternoon.

“Why? Why?” Levin said as he stomped his feet and shook his blue and white golf umbrella at the sky.

Levin vowed to passing students that he would not let the matter rest.

“Pack your bikini, [University Secretary] Linda [Lorimer],” he said. “We’re going to play hookey until those [terrible people] buckle to my will.”

Tomorrow, administrators will fly to the University’s private Caribbean island where they will “spend a week getting tanned and trashed — on Yale’s nickel, of course,” Levin said.

Along with Yale College Dean Richard Brodhead, Provost Susan Hockfield, spokeswoman Helaine Klasky, Lorimer and Graduate School Dean Peter Salovey, Levin picketed in front of Woodbridge Hall Wednesday afternoon as Corporation members watched in dismay from within. The group was seen Wednesday night drinking martinis at Hot Tomato’s on College Street, proclaiming their “meteorological rectitude” to students in the vicinity of bar.

Yale Corporation senior fellow Roland Betts ’68 said Levin and his fellow administrators are “just being big babies” on the issue.

“California would be a great place for the school,” Betts said. “And heaven knows we’ve got enough money to move this place, brick by brick, across the country. But we wanted to disagree with him, you know? I mean, come on, how often do we say no?”

Betts also threatened to “talk to my best friend, if you know what I mean” if Levin continues to strike.

The News did not know what he meant.

Yale College Council President Elliott Mogul ’05 — who friends say plans to seize the University in Levin’s absence — said he will miss Levin’s “motivation and mentoring.”

“But now it’s my turn to pick up the slack,” he said, running a hand through his freshly-coiffed hair. “It’s a big job, but someone’s got to assume the responsibility for making sure the school runs smoothly.”

Harvard officials said they are “extremely disappointed” Yale will remain on the East Coast.

“Actually, we could[n’t] care less,” Harvard President Lawrence Summers said. “We don’t care about you guys. Yuck Fale” [sic].

Princeton President Shirley M. Tilghman called the News and insisted on being quoted in this article.

“We hope Yale, our rival, will not flee from our sharp tiger claws,” she said. “We like keeping our enemies close to us.”

Students said Wednesday night they were unaware a strike was underway.

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