Roses are red. Violets are blue. It’s Valentine’s Day. What to do, what to do?

Whether half of a duo (think Bennifer, pre-breakup) or a stellar single (think Britney, minus Vegas fling), Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to wear your heart on your sleeve — let it all hang out, man. So call up your significant other or that mysterious hottie in your history section — you know the one — and make a night of it. In or out, wild or mild, now’s your chance to romance. Don’t mess it up, that wouldn’t be cool. But hey, no worries — we’ve got your back. Here are four perfect dates sure to impress your hunny (or at least get him/her back to your pad).

Numero uno: El movie date

Here’s the game plan: you, my friend, are going to see “Miracle” — the just-released flick about the 1980 Olympics and the underdog USA hockey team that went all the way. Perfect for couples who are in the “comfortable” period and don’t feel the need for excessive chatter. Yet (we’re geniuses), also perfect for you first-timers, worried about finding the “right” thing to say or finding anything to say at all: i.e. “See, I have this rash — I don’t think it’s contagious –” You get the point. “Miracle” takes the cake — you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll see cute hockey-butts — it promises to be an action-packed night. For those of you in a more touchy-feely place (hey, we don’t mind, hug?) “50 First Dates,” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, opens Friday — and offers far more kissing with lots of laughter, too. Bottom Line: it’s cool to make out in a movie theater.

Two: Wild night is calling you

Movies, shmovies. You’re in the mood for a rockin’ good time. Maybe you’re thinking Toad’s in a red dress (we’ll see you there), but there are other options. Beyond Hot Tomato’s and the delicious martinis (first stop?) lies Bottega, an intimate bar and lounge with an exotic feel. The drinks are yummy, the music eclectic, the mood just right. But, if this isn’t quite your “just right” then head over to Club Image for the “Got a Valentine?” dance party. Co-sponsored by Girls Gone Wild, this is sure to be a lively scene (to say the least) — bumpin’ and grindin’ included. Bottom Line: Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.

Third time’s a charm: Doin’ It Yale style

Yale brought you together. Let Yale bring you closer. On-campus events provide a prime setting for seduction. The Yale Cabaret, located on 217 Park Street, is presenting Stagestruck in America at 8:30 and 11 p.m. tonight. Doors open at 7 p.m. for the early show — dinner and drinks are served, so why not make a night of it? Or, show up at 10 p.m. for the later performance to sample cocktails and lighter fare. $10 tickets for students, call (203)432-1566 for information. And guys, cabarets are sexy. Just say it. You sound so sexy. We’d date you. At the same time. But alas, theater isn’t everyone’s “thang.” We’ve got the solution (of course) — “Love Actually” at the Med School. Playing at 7 and 10 p.m. tonight and tomorrow, this 2003 romantic comedy is funny and syrupy sweet. Whatever your cinematic preference, British accents always get you in the mood. This promises to be a jolly good time, old chap. Bottom Line: The next morning you can say, “Yeah, uh-huh, we did it Yale style.” Score.

Finally, four: Just the two of us

Cuuuuute. You’ve got each other. Who needs anything else? A little scary for the first date, but nothing short of a fairytale for the seasoned couple. If you’ve got a kitchen, try a home-cooked meal for two. If not, takeout or delivery will do (apparently, we’re also poets). On a night such as this, a passion-filled trip to Blockbuster is key — bicker about what to rent (“Notting Hill” or “Scarface”? Compromise: “Swingers”) and then make up when you get home. Please people, don’t let those dirty minds get carried away, we meant cuddle on the couch. Set the mood with dimmed lights and candles as you gaze into the eyes of your dreamy luvah. Important: beware of the fire alarm. Loud, annoying noises are not romantic. Neither is the security guard’s untimely interruption. Bottom Line: a little hand-holding goes a long way.

So there you have it. Take what you will. We know brilliance is often misunderstood. We only wish the best for you this Feb. 14. A special night with that special someone can make for a great memory. The rest of February will be that much sweeter. Why wait ’til spring to fall in love?

[ydn-legacy-photo-inline id=”1130″ ]