A hearty welcome back to all those scene aficionados out there. Thanks for tuning in. As you are well aware, you’re reading scene, the Arts and Living segment of the Yale Daily News. Normally, we’d ring in the new year with an exciting preview of everything you’d need to know to art and live (i.e., all things music, movies, theater, CDs, film and plays).
This year, however, it’s too damn cold. We’re not kidding. We saw some freshwoman with a snot-cicle. So instead, your scene editors, Zander and Steve, would like to suggest to you a few activities that are fun, easy and warm.
DUH: fun, easy and warm. With the flu season rearing its ugly head, that place is bound to be hopping. And if you don’t know what the rave is all about, we suggest you go check it. The flu: Everyone is getting it, why haven’t you?
Drinking alone in your room: fun, easy and warm. You may be saying, “Wait. Isn’t that depressing? And a sign of alcoholism? Doesn’t that make me a loser?” Our answer: We are the critics. We tell you what’s cool, and drinking alone is definitely cool. And by cool, we mean warm. You may also be asking yourself, “But is that really fun? Won’t it in the end bring a feeling of tiredness and depression?” Our answer: You probably will feel tired and depressed, but that isn’t the alcohol — it’s the crappy weather. Furthermore, fatigue and depression are quite conducive to our next wonderful weather whacktivity.
Staying in bed: fantastic, easy, and warm to steaming hot, depending on the activity. They say: napping is a sign of laziness, and a waste of time. We say: your bed is that friend you can sleep with whenever you want. If they call you lazy, they just don’t know how to have the fun we have. After all, there’s nothing like wrapping yourself in a warm cocoon of unwashed sheets.
Speaking of unwashed: the shower. If you live in a suite that has its own bathroom, there is nothing better than staying in the shower, working up that lather, and watching the mirrors fog up as the cold flees your limbs. If you share a bathroom, don’t stay in for so long. It looks funny. Why? Well, there’s only so much time you can spend “washing your hair.”
Then there’s this whole downloading thing everyone is doing these days. Apparently that’s illegal. Well we say, be a rebel. You can just grab your favorite pair of jammies, get yourself on Kazaa or MyTunes, the iTunes pirate, and just break that law like a wayward schoolgirl who’s crossed the path of a portly Khazak “business man.” And we hear you can even download movies. Wow. Computers. Who would have thought they’d be big? Anyway. If you reeeally want to get crazy, get your CPU, as those who jive with the lingo say, and set it up next to your bed, and download a movie, and watch it … in bed.
So basically, what we are saying is that there’s lots of stuff going on this year, but you really shouldn’t start caring until it gets warmer, at which point we might give you some more lifestyle advice. But until then, just stay in bed as long as possible, or at least inside. God knows that’s what we’re going to be doing.