There are two kinds of people at Yale: those in Pierson College, and those who spend their days wishing to be in Pierson and their nights dreaming of what it might be like to be a Piersonite.

Pierson College is THE residential college at Yale. When you get to Yale, find a Piersonite, because this is the person who will be having the most fun. Piersonites are known for their late-night parties, college spirit and fierce loyalty to the Pierson sun. The Piersonite is funny, compassionate, romantic and — come the weekend — probably drunk.

Piersonites are lucky to call Harvey Goldblatt their college master. Master G., as he is known to students, is dedicated to making sure that there is no finer place to live than Pierson. Thai food study breaks, Master’s Teas with foreign royalty, and karaoke night in the dining hall are weekly events in Pierson, and this is thanks to our fabulous Master and his army of master’s aides. Plus, Master G. is the only college Master who puts his honor at stake every spring semester in the Jell-O Pit of Justice. Yes, it is true — Jell-O wrestling is an annual Pierson tradition, and Master G. is our reigning champion. You down with Master G.? Yeah you know me!

Pierson College is also the place to be on Halloween. The Inferno is our annual dance with decorations that will stun you and “liquor treats” (get it, like trick-or-treats) that will deliver the knockout punch. And if Inferno doesn’t keep you going for the whole year, every week we have Tuesday Night Club. Just wander down to Pierson Lower Court on Tuesday night, and a keg (or three) will always be waiting for you. Yes, you heard correctly — every Tuesday night, even in the rain, snow, sleet and locusts. We rarely have locusts.

If you need more, Pierson has the finest printing press at Yale, a brand new high-definition television with surround sound, a fully operational buttery (the “Pierson Butt”), and Niko’s, a basement cafe with live entertainment. Our Social Activities Council (SAC) and College Council (PCC) are the most active at Yale — and rumor has it that the PCC president and SAC chairs are really hot! Our dining hall has the best staff ever, and we have a frozen yogurt machine, a cappuccino maker, and a Pan Geos station, a made-to-order food bar. Damn, this college rocks!

So, to you future Piersonites out there, thank your lucky stars and do not be surprised when you are the envy of all of your friends at Yale. Just smile proudly and shout our cheer, that declaration which makes so clear the Pierson spirit: “THE P IS FOR THE P IN PIERSON COLLEGE! THE I IS FOR THE I IN PIERSON COLLEGE! THE E –” You get the picture.

Justin Cohen is a junior in Pierson College and president of the Pierson College Council.