So I’m sitting back on my futon with a carton of cookie dough ice cream and a face mask on, waiting for my red toenails to dry when I pick up the Yale Daily News. I giggle gleefully when I come across Sarah Weiss’ article and think to myself:
“Wow, she is, like, totally right — where have all the Yale guys gone? I mean, here I am, totally alone and without, like, anyone. Hey! Isn’t that the dress Gwyneth wore to the Oscars last year? Wow, Cosmo is like totally behind the times.”
We have come a long way, baby (for now, at least).
The fact is we don’t have to wait for anyone to knock on our doors anymore. We can do it ourselves. We’ve always had the ability to do so, just never the mindset.
Did we march the battle lines in the war against patriarchy for nothing? Decades of struggle and oppression only to revert back to where we’ve always been forced to be? Back to waiting at home patiently for Mr. Right and never venturing out on our own, being handed a narrative of our own lives, rather than writing our own?
I hope not. What an injustice to our grandmothers who fought for us, who endured what we’re lucky enough not to have to suffer. The least we could do is say, “Thank you.”
For example, as women, we’re now sexually liberated and can make our own sexual choices. Condoms on the table at the Freshman Screw, you say? Splendid. I’m all for safe sex.
A hookup before a serious romantic relationship? Why not. At least now, we are given the opportunity to control our bodies, and as long as we do it responsibly, there’s nothing wrong about it.
Do it if you want, don’t do it if you don’t want to, but it’s high time that women get to experience the pleasure of sexual freedom that men have experienced for ages.
These ages have come and gone, but here and now it’s time we define our femininity. Only fear keeps us from doing so. Some people do get a bit “jittery” when confronted by members of the other sex, and awkwardness in this situation isn’t exactly a revolutionary new concept.
The real fear doesn’t result from the awkwardness but from the popular mindset of those who insist upon males taking the initiative and being the driving force in our relationships with them. It is about our subconscious fear of taking control and rejecting the accepted patriarchy and not about shy boys. It’s a scary thing to rebel against what we’ve always been told, but it can, and should, be done.
That is called taking control. That is called the modern day — the day when women can ask a man out and feel good about it.
Old-fashioned dating is called “old-fashioned” for a reason. It’s demeaning to females, and we should be glad that now we can knock on whoever’s door we want. It’s nice to take control of one’s own destiny and not expect it to be taken care of by the “hot guy” sitting next to you in class.
In fact, see that hot guy sitting across from you in section? Yes, that one, over there, with the navy blue sweater, hot Diesel jeans, and sexy studious look on his face discussing French literature. Go up to him after class. Would he like to have coffee sometime? Really, we’re not asking for that much.
All I’m asking is that women step up to the plate and start rebelling against the patriarchal standards of dating.
Guys: I just inadvertently made your life easier. If you ever see me on the street, at least say, “Thank you.”
And women: if Prince Charming does happen to knock on your door late at night with a bouquet of roses and a marriage proposal, put the flowers in water and steal his horse. Then take a long, long ride, until you’ve found just what you’re looking for.
Petrina Crockford is a sophomore in Ezra Stiles College.