Comebacks seem to be the hot thing right now, especially in our nation’s capital.
Michael Jordan, at age 38, is set to have a go on the court with his woeful Washington Wizards. He’s going to donate his league minimum to charity this season, but don’t expect the NBA’s new crop of stars to stop and pat him on the back. I have to admit, though, the Laetner-to-Jordan connection will be tough to beat.
Indeed, things have never looked better for the fine city of Washington, D.C. At least not since the national networks rolled grainy surveillance tapes of Mayor Marion Barry puffing on his girlfriend’s crack pipe. But even Barry came back — he was elected to another term after doing some minimum-security time and a few months probation.
Tony Banks didn’t get it half that bad after being run out of Baltimore last season on a rail, only to watch Trent Dilfer show him up in the Super Bowl. Banks then got picked up by a Cowboy squad that was just hoping to hobble along until Emmitt Smith could surpass the league’s all-time rushing mark and get out of Dodge with some dignity.
Then Banks got ditched again, even before the season started.
At least that team is committed to youth and has no illusions about how long the road will be.
Banks should have hedged his bets and rolled on down I-95 to Washington, D.C. instead of even bothering in Dallas. Despite a high-priced new coach and a higher-priced new stadium, the Redskins looked like the Titanic before they even left port this summer. And that’s good news for the comeback-minded like Banks.
Throwing the pink slip at Jeff George might have seemed drastic, but it isn’t anything Banks hasn’t seen before. He’ll have one more shot at a comeback in the next few weeks and he will probably blow it like he always does, only there’s nowhere worse than Washington, D.C. now, so this will be his Alamo.
My good friend’s ex lives in Washington, D.C. too — the poor thing. In the spirit of the times, this guy is looking to make a little comeback of his own on the Yale dating scene. He doesn’t get out much, and the last Yale girl he took home was his date for the freshman screw.
I was in his room yesterday and noticed a scrap of paper on his desk. It seemed interesting so I swiped it; I’m looking at it now.
It looked like he was going to spend a fair amount of money to run this thing in the back of the New Haven Advocate, so I thought I would save him some cash and just publish it here:
CLASSIC ROCK FAN
ISO stable SWF 18-45, N/S, casual drinker, who enjoys horseback rides, going to fairs, rib cook-offs, loves animals. Must be willing to talk openly about “issues.” Donnie Iris fan a plus. Friendship first, possibly more. No games, please.
He isn’t a bad looking dude, I am sure it will all work out for him in the end. Interested parties can inquire through me.
In the mean time, Canada goose season is making a comeback of its own. If you’ve seen the V-shaped gaggles headed south overhead in the past few weeks, you know what I mean. Do not be alarmed if you hear gunshots, it’s either me securing my Sunday dinner or Tony Banks getting chased out of Washington, D.C. by the National Guard.
I’ll be out in my duck blind in the coming weeks, but I will be checking my voice mail. I’ll pass on any messages to my friend.
Serious inquiries only.