Welcome to Trumbull College, the best of all possible residential colleges. But aren’t they all? Why then should you, those of you who are Trumfrosh-to-be, breathe a sigh of relief that the fates have so smiled upon you?

Is it because Trumbull has a rich, storied history, being one of the oldest and (objectively) the aesthete’s college (though not the ascetic’s), featuring masonry of limitless skill done by the architect James Gamble Rogers, who called Trumbull his artistic masterpiece?

Or that it alone has three — THREE! — courtyards of such character and personality as Potty Court, Main Court and Stone Court?

Or is it because while cognitively dissonant Branfordians may boast that Harkness Tower issues proudly from their college, it is only to Mother Trumbull that the awesome Sterling Memorial Library pays the homage of attachment?

Is it because Trumfrosh live in Bingham Hall, most elegant of Old Campus residences and the only freshman residence with an elevator? Or because Trumbull has the best location of any college at Yale, being at the heart of the campus? Or that, compared to other Yalies, you will spend less of your college life walking between destinations and more of it enjoying them?

Maybe it’s because the dean and master of Trumbull College will be the ever popular, ever sympathetic Laura King and Janet Henrich, respectively.

Or it’s because you will be looked after by (objectively) the best (and best-looking) freshman counselors at Yale, hand-picked for your service by the legendary former Dean Peter Novak, Ph.D.

Could it be because you will all live under the security of the “Trumcrier,” who, once a week at 6 p.m. and wearing the sacred bull horns shall shower promises of peace and prosperity over the dining hall?

Or is it because each fall you yourself may “Rumble in Trumbull,” where select individuals (perhaps the dean and master?) shall pummel each other senselessly while the bookies and bet-makers of Trumbull College look on in wild delight?

Or is it because each spring you shall run with the Bulls at Pamplona, Trumbull’s annual bacchanal in the sun, culminating in “Who Wants to be a Trumbullionaire?”

Is it because within Mother Trumbull’s capacious womb lies Nicholas Chapel, one of the most sought-after undergraduate performance spaces on campus?

Or is it because of the Trumbull Artspace, also in the basement? Or the squash court and gym? Some might say it’s because Trumbull’s winter ball is the envy of balls all over Yale.

Or is it because we run the meanest, baddest game of “Assassins” this side of legal?

You decide.

Sulaiman Ijaz ’01 and Mike McCreless ’01 graduated in May from Trumbull College.