A Harvard Glossary to Guide Your WKND
When you’re at Harvard this weekend, you might notice the students there using unfamiliar language. Well, I’m here to help! I reached out to my good friend Chas Paddington, who is a senior at Harvard, and he provided us with a glossary.
Today is my birthday. Happy birthday, me! Today I turn 22, which is old enough to feel ancient when walking by Yale’s newest batch of 17-year-old freshmen, but young enough for older folks to think it’s ridiculous that I feel old at 22. It’s also the perfect age to make Taylor Swift references, but that song came out two years ago. Twenty-two is too high for Blackjack (that’s twenty-one), too low for a conspiracy theory that inspired a poorly-received Jim Carrey thriller (that’s twenty-three). 22 is aesthetically appealing: two twos sitting nicely and neatly next to each other. But that’s about it.
I watched a movie during Spring Break. This is a significant fact, because I never watch movies. Tell me the title of a movie, and I guarantee you I haven’t seen it. The Godfather? Nope. Star Wars? Bits and pieces. Shawshank? Uh-uh. Frozen? What’s that? I have seen fewer movies than all of the people »
Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome
“You ever have a really dark thought?” asks comedian Maria Bamford on her live album Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome. “Like, ‘What if I licked a urinal? Augh! Why did I even think of that? What if I’m a urinal licker? What if I’m out of control?’” Bamford exaggerates the example for comedic effect, but the answer to that first question for me is always “yes.”
Re: My Term Paper Grade
The other day, I learned that I had gotten an F on a final paper for my political science seminar, “Yale After 1845.” My thesis was, “Harvard is better than Yale.” I emailed my TA and asked her to explain the failing grade. This was her response:
How to March
On Monday, I found out that I had failed one of my midterms. Not like, “Oh, damn, probably got a B-” failure. Like straight-up, forty-six out of one hundred points failure. I slunk off to lunch; the Berkeley Mac and Cheese I love tasted less exciting than usual. Three hours later, I found out that the dean of Calhoun College, my dean, Leslie Woodard, passed away unexpectedly. Four hours later, I stood in the Calhoun courtyard, shoulders hunched, holding a white candle that had been poked through a paper cup.
The Miley Interview She Doesn’t Want You To Read
I had the, um, privilege to talk with Miley Cyrus backstage after her provocative MTV Video Music Awards performance. She didn’t really answer any of my questions and left a big welt on my forehead (more on that later).
Understanding Suzy Lee Weiss’ Anger
Two weeks ago, the Wall Street Journal published an op-ed by Suzy Lee Weiss, a high school senior who had received the short end of the college admissions stick.
“Will Adams is simply DA BEST!!!”
Yale Compliments embodies the excesses of social networking, indulging our desire to have our personae manifested on the Interwebs. In short: let’s throw it into a well.