George: Mobs and moms and mzungu

September 18, 2009 • 0
The first concert I ever attended was circa, oh, let’s say 1999. Or before that. When did “Spice World” come out? Okay, it was before 1997. After that Spice Girls concert, my life changed forever. In one parallel universe, I became gay on a pleasant fall evening in 1996 (I am taking “Quantum Physics” now, »

George: Erase this movie from my head

September 4, 2009 • 4
To get it out of the way: Coming back is so weird, I miss summer, I am insecure about my time here at Yale, I’m halfway done, what an incredible turning point in my life, I feel so mature, a metaphor about growing up that is funny yet poignant, self-deprecation, what classes am I gonna »

The blurbs of summer

August 28, 2009 • 0
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen Things I loved about it: the fighting! Come on, watching an 18-wheeler turn into a giant robot to fight another giant robot from space on top of the pyramids while American troops fire rocket launchers is fodder for any American classic. It was “The Fast and the Furious” meets »

George: Relationships: nasty stuff

April 24, 2009 • 0
Dear Abby, It’s me, Matthew. You remember? I wrote to you once about the best way to win friends at Christian Camp. You suggested playing miniature golf with people, so I ended making up an invisible friend named Happy, and he always won! I tried to get Happy to go on the tandem ropes course, »

The ‘Turkey’ does not exist

April 17, 2009 • 0
The night before the world premier of “Cold Turkey,” the now infamous original three-man play by Ethan Kuperberg, Matthew George and Will Stephen, premiered, the naughty cast decided to play a hilarious prank on some of their closest friends and allies. They told these poor souls that their show was canceled just to see what »

George: Read me, I love you!

April 10, 2009 • 0
It is becoming apparent that what I write in these articles will haunt me for the rest of my life. Before writing for this wonderful periodical, the only way to find my name through a Google search was by entering “Matthew George Dallas Texas Woodrow Wilson High School Rosy Dog Disappointment Fat” and then scrolling »

George: Rents ‘Red River,’ Runs

March 27, 2009 • 0
Some people call me Dad. I like this. Not because I’ve fathered any children that I know of, or because I am disappointed in the people around me, but because it is a term of respect. I look up to my own father immensely, and if someone were to draw the comparison between me and »

George: George proposes

February 20, 2009 • 2
Wuh oh oh. Uh oh oh. Oh oh. Oh. Uh oh oh. Repeat. Rotate your left hand in a back and forth motion by your face. Now rapidly move the inside of your hips while telling the outside of your hips to move the opposite direction. Slip on a sexy bionic glove and if you »

George: Vampire slayers slim, not George

February 6, 2009 • 1
If only I could enjoy working out half as much as I like a clever quip from Giles, the smarmy yet British librarian from Sunnydale High on the hit television show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Alas, I wasn’t born with an urge to move. If I had been born in any year between the beginning »

George: Without a SteadyCam

January 23, 2009 • 0
I have a theory about weather. Warm weather makes people happy and amenable to joyful things, such as sand volleyball or working on your laptop outdoors. Cold weather makes people sad and receptive to horrible suggestions, such as staying in on Friday to study or watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. Cold also constantly reminds single »

Esk Economy Eric

January 16, 2009 • 0
Dear Economy Eric, Help! The economic crisis has hit, and hit me hard! I’ve lost my job, my house is getting foreclosed and my twin daughters are starting college in the fall. My newborn child is currently nestled in a bed of soft straw in our mailbox. I’d ask my wife to help me, but »

George: Clear eyes, full hearts, lose

November 21, 2008 • 0
Upon reflection, I blame Walter Camp for burning a scar into the part of my brain that controls depression and anxiety. I know he never meant to personally hurt me, but when he told his Yale football team in 1878 (and I quote) “You know what, fuck Rugby, LET’S MAKE IT AMERICAN,” my great-great-great grandfather »