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Zier: All the single Euros, can’t buy me love

April 3, 2009 • 7
I’m going to be blunt with you: This article is about hatred. It is about vengeance, and it is about spite. It is about how I have been wronged, and it is about how I plan to right those wrongs. More than anything, it is about Europeans. I will admit to you that, when I »
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Zier: Zier clots fast, loves faster

February 13, 2009 • 0
It has recently come to my attention that the producers of ABC’s “The Bachelor” are holding open auditions for their next male lead. I want this role. I want this role like you can’t understand. In fact, I want this role more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life, with the possible exception »
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Zier: My package

January 30, 2009 • 0
I think it’s fair to say that America is at a crossroads. But unlike the last crossroads we saw, in which Britney Spears revealed to us the trials, tribulations and eventual enjoyment of rediscovering childhood friendship through an emotionally taxing cross-country joyride, this crossroads has nothing to do with childhood friendship or brilliant filmmaking. Instead, »
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Zier: BBM to Dad: Watch your back

November 14, 2008 • 1
I found out a little while ago that my dad is getting a BlackBerry, and I’m pissed as all hell. You’re probably asking yourself right now: “What’s wrong with that? I have a BlackBerry, and so does my dad. He uses it to check his e-mail when he’s traveling on business.” Well that’s all nice »
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Meet Joe Six-Pack Brown the Plumber

October 31, 2008 • 2
In the months preceding the presidential election, much has been said about the proverbial “Joe Six-Pack.” He is, according to many political commentators, the heart and soul of this country, and his vote could be the deciding factor. But, as John McCain would ask, who is Joe Six-Pack? What does he stand for? Do his »
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Zier: Buffalo Dan hates foliage

October 17, 2008 • 2
Upon arriving in the Northeast to go to Yale I was struck, and I continue to be struck, by the diversity of the population. Rarely do two Northeasterners look alike, act alike or think alike and each tends to be staunch in his or her opinion. As far as I can tell, disagreement is very »
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Zier: I value your comments

October 3, 2008 • 4
When I was asked to write a biweekly column in scene, I blindly accepted, without any expectation that what I wrote would be heavily scrutinized for its social and political worth. Admittedly, this was fairly ignorant, since my columns generally touch upon hot political topics, like how Lent is a celebration of the Daytona 500 »
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Daniel Zier: Obama, McCain neglect the real problems facing Americans

September 19, 2008 • 4
I often try to make my columns humorous and satirical, incorporating hypothetical and often delusional scenarios to illustrate absurd points that eventually induce volleys of hateful, anonymous posts by vegans on the News’ Web site. I considered writing another such column this week, but I must admit that, out of patriotism, I cannot. Our country »
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Welcome to Yale, land of virgin roommates, Asian adventures

September 5, 2008 • 4
To the Members of the Class of 2012, Congratulations on beginning your freshman year! On behalf of all members of our esteemed, tight-knit community, I would like to extend a warm, grass-fed welcome to you and your parents during your first week as an Eli! This moment is undoubtedly proud for you and, as such, »
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Nobody likes a twenty-year-old in a dirty poncho

April 18, 2008 • 13
People always get really upset with me when I tell them I’m a vegan. If the topic ever comes up, my admission is almost inevitably met with stares of condescension, rolled eyes and furrowed brows. It makes me feel weak and emasculated, when really all I want is to show my solidarity for animals and »

Watch out, inferiors — I’ve got a corner office

April 4, 2008 • 1
I recently found out that I have a job this summer. This is good news, because having a job means I’ll be making money, and making money means that I can finally buy a replica of the costume Mr. Mistoffelees uses in “Cats,” the longest-running musical in Broadway history. It also means that my family »
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Never fear, there is a simple solution to this Peruvian misunderstanding

March 7, 2008 • 7
By now, most of you have undoubtedly heard of the ongoing saga regarding Yale and the government of Peru. The issue at hand is the liberation of several thousand artifacts from Peru in the early 1900’s by the fearless Yale explorer Hiram Bingham III, for whom several buildings around campus, including Connecticut Hall, are named. »