Author Archives: Celeste Ballard

I saw a movie starring Jack Nicholson recently. In it, he plays an ornery author with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He becomes unlikely friends with his gay neighbor and a waitress, played by Greg Kinnear and Helen Hunt, respectively. If you still don’t know what movie I’m talking about, let me narrow it down further. At »

Let me tell you about my fantasy: I’m at my local mall, the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square, shopping with my mother circa 1997. We’re back in an era before the Westfield Shopping Center Empire took over suburbia, transforming every surface into an advertisement for Hannah Montana, High School Musical and other ABC Family fare. As »

Let me tell you about my fantasy: I’m walking down the streets of Soho, kick-ball-changing, shuffle-ball-stepping to the totally chasé-able chorus of ABBA’s “Voulez Vous” I have bumping from my iPod headphones. Just as I bend down to pick up a fully-loaded iTunes gift certificate, Leigh Lezark from the MisShapes, Zooey Deschanel and Chloe Sevigny »

Let me tell you about my fantasy: I’m sitting at home, lounging on my queen-sized Tempur-pedic in a burnt umber cashmere sweatsuit eating loads and loads of Now and Laters, JuJuBes and other impossible-to-chew candy. I’ve just finished a huge dinner of Chicken Tikka Masala and Naan with Mango Chutney, and I’m ready to spend »