July 15, consider your diem carped!

March 24, 2012
During a recent visit to the ophthalmologist, I was elated to discover that I would, for the first time in my life, require the use of glasses. Friends of mine who have sported lenses since a young age assured me that this would pass. They may seem cool, they said, but really, glasses are just »

An Hairing of Grievances

February 24, 2012
Friends, Romans, countrymen: I’m a pretty hairy guy. I know that. Do you think you need to come up with euphemisms in order to make that observation in a sensitive and considerate manner? Because you don’t — really! I have hair on my arms, I have hair on my legs, I have hair under my »

A tale of two

February 3, 2012
I live in an old apartment building on the corner of Elm and Howe called the Elmhurst. This means several things. The first is that my radiators are very noisy. Sometimes in the night, it sounds like they’re trying to communicate with me through a long-lost language of whinings and clangings. The second is that »

Hate The Player, Play My Game

January 20, 2012
You might think that there are a limited number of legitimate reasons to hate someone. Some classic examples: 1) The person in question killed your mother/father/brother/sister/clone. 2) The person in question hates a group of people to which you belong involuntarily. 3) The person in question walked out on you and/or your mother/father/etc. while one/both »


December 2, 2011
Oh, hey! Good to see you. Hope your Thanksgiving break was good. You go home? See the fam? Cool; cool. Yeah, I didn’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I couldn’t have seen them — I totally could’ve. Yeah, I’m actually from Hamden, so it’s like a ten-minute drive from campus, but »

BERNHARDT: Boring white men pay for your lattes

November 4, 2011
Unless you have a Google alert for “circular, symbolically valuable pieces of metal,” you probably didn’t know that the likeness of Rutherford B. Hayes, 19th president of the United States, is now available in coin form. In fact, since Aug. 18, his mug has been stamped on several million coins, each worth exactly one U.S. »

Bildungsroman, ruined

October 23, 2011
The thing about being free of junior-year commitments is that I now have time which I can spend doing nothing. Sort of. As a friend of mine recently quipped this past weekend when someone expressed surprise at her having “no work,” “I could FIND work to do.” But, like her, I’m in no rush to »

Footlights go wild on their U.S. tour, hit the Have the ’Have running

October 1, 2010
Damn the Brits. Or, to be more specific, damn the Cambridge Footlights, a sketchy comedy group from across the pond who, in case you missed it (WTF?!), knocked everyone’s socks off at the Off Broadway Theater Tuesday night with their 2010 international tour show, “Good For You.” I hate to say it, but it was »

This is what’s going on

September 24, 2010
There is too much old in New Haven. Inefficiency and obscurity have dethroned care and transparency. The marginalized have suffered from our complacency. We lament the “Yale bubble,” when for many of our fellow Elis, such vocabulary diverges more and more each day from reality far more dire. These times call for a new language. »

Vijay Iyer ’92: Mathematician, Physicist, World-Class Jazz Pianist

September 17, 2010
Vijay Iyer ’92 doesn’t fit the pedigree of your typical jazz pianist. He holds a B.S. in Mathematics and Physics from Yale, an interdisciplinary Ph.D. in Technology and the Arts from the University of California Berkeley and has never received formal training in piano. So naturally, he just released his fourteenth studio album — his »

You, your safety and you!

September 3, 2010
Who’s afraid of Kurt Hugo Schneider ’10? Not Thom Stylinski, media producer for the Yale Broadcast and Media Center, that’s for sure. If you haven’t yet seen the center’s latest production, “You, Your Safety, and You!,” which Stylinski wrote, directed and edited, you’re missing out on a watershed moment in the fight for the soul »

Suite tips: your guide to everlasting roommate friendship

August 27, 2010
Hey gang! Excited to meet your new family for the next academic year? Well, you should be — gaining friends can be a zesty, good-time enterprise rich with opportunities for “best bros”- or “BFFAEAEAE”-type situations. Now, I know what you’re thinking, namely, “I’m gonna schmooze the shit out of these bitches,” and dammit, I admire »