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Subject: Official Offer Confirmation Letter

21 February 2014

Dear XXXXX,

My name is Colin Harp! I would like to welcome you to what we here at the Company like to call “the Company.” We are pleased that you are interested in joining us! This letter confirms the terms of our offer with respect to your terms of employment. As Director of Hiring and Internship Services, may I say just how excited we all are that you would consider being a part of our team? And for the contributions you will make during your impending term of employment? And for you to become a part of what we like to call “the Company Family?” And for that individual something you will bring to the work environment; what we like to call the “Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient?” Let’s get started!

You might be asking, “Colin, wow. Just wow. I’m so, so, so ready to bring my Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient to the Company Family, but how do I prepare?” Great question, XXXXX! Here at the Company, we pride ourselves on making the most of your summer internship experience, or what we like to call your Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience. But this process is nothing if you, XXXXX, are not up to speed on what an Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience looks like. I would like to take the time to explain the Experience for you. (I think I just heard a “Thanks, Colin!” Ha-ha.)

You will begin your Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience at your very own mobile cubicle. You might be asking, “Colin, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t cubicles generally, like, immobile?” Great question, XXXXX! Here at the Company, we believe that borders should not bind the Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience experience. That’s why each intern will have his or her own cart, or what we at the Company like to call an Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience Mobile Command Center. (Wow! Where’s mine? Ha-ha.) Each intern will use his or her Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience Mobile Command Center to distribute what we like to call “IntraCompany CommuniText,” “IntraCompany CaffeBusiness Acoutrements” and “IntraCompany AgriResources.” You might be asking, “Colin, hold on. Don’t you mean mail, coffee and lunch?” Moving on, XXXXX!

No internship is complete without compensation, especially the Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience. You might be asking, “Colin, I was under the impression that the Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience is unsalaried, and therefore, um, unpaid?” Correct! You might also be asking, “Colin, since the Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience is, um, unpaid, how am I to support myself during my term of employment at the Company?” Well, XXXXX, we understand that our interns come from many diverse backgrounds, including your background growing up in XXXX, XXXXXX. We pride ourselves on making our resources and professional outreach available to all people, regardless of socioeconomic factors. That’s why we offer compensation in Company Points! Company Points are our way of saying “thank you” for all the unsalaried work you’ll be doing for us during your exciting and unique term of employment. You might be asking, “Colin, hey. I don’t mean to come off as aggressive or ungrateful, especially since I fought tooth and nail for this position and, like, my entire summer plan depends on it, but Company Points aren’t, like, currency, are they?” Not quite, XXXXX! But that’s what makes them so exciting. Company Points are redeemable in the Intern Dining Facility for Ramen. (Get in line! Ha-ha.)

You might be asking, “Colin, what else are Company Points redeemable for?”

On a different note, we here at the Company are sensitive and receptive to the unique stories that make our interns so well-suited for our Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience. For example, XXXXX, we know that your experience growing up in XXXX, XXXXXX provided a rural and/or small town and/or suburban development and/or apartment housing and/or urban sprawl upbringing that is crucial to what makes you, you! Your remarkable interest in XXXXX, your passion for XXXXXXXXXXXX, and your experience in XXX didn’t just make you stand out in the application process; They make you a vital member of our Company Family. We think that your rural and/or small town and/or suburban development and/or apartment housing and/or urban sprawl roots will be a valuable asset to the Company.

As I said earlier, may I just express how excited we are for your contributions to our team? For your Unsalaried Human Resources Personal Diversity Quotient Summer Growth Experience Mobile Command Center? For what you will do with your Company Points? For how your upbringing in XXXX, XXXXXX will make us all one happy Company Family? We are so ready for you to join us, and once you sign the attached binding contract, we know you’ll be ready to join us, too!

Sincerely,

Colin Harp

Director of Hiring and Internship Services

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