Periods Are Funny

Not impressed with "that time of the month"
Not impressed with "that time of the month" // Creative Commons

It’s the platinum age of television. Like, it seriously has never been this good. Still, what I seldom see in the media is what I have experienced in terms of female friendship, or even, like, female-ness. What kind of world do we live in if more than half of the writers for the second (not as good) season of “Girls” are men? Well, we get representations of female relationships that are just tropes. The bitchy mean girls, with the ditzy friend and the ugly friend. This is because of the severe lack of women in writing rooms. When we think of comedies that are accurate, insightful and hilarious representations of womanhood (hoo-rah) we think of, like, “Bridesmaids” and “The Mindy Project,” both written by some kick-ass lady folk. They’re a start, but still not enough. There are things I talk about with complete strangers, hilarious things about being female that are just not out in the world — and, specifically, not on TV: the joys of a good pillow; your vibrator purchase showing up on your parents’ credit card bill; the horrors of hair removal; and PERIODS.

There is a huge reservoir of untapped comedic potential when it comes to women. I had a conversation recently with a man-person who was uncomfortable when my friends and I were joking about periods and the gross and awful things that happen to your body during pregnancy. My response? I hear a dick joke every day. Every. Single. Day. I know all of the embarrassing shit that happens to middle school boys and their uncontrollable boners. There is that hilarious risk of zipping it up in your jeans, and if a ball gets thrown in that general direction, oh my god, time to die. I get that. Writers write what they know. We are missing out by not having more women comedy writers because even though accidental erections are funny, nothing is more hilariously embarassing than a period. Seriously, half of the human race will get it. More than that, talking about it and joking about it has informed my guy friends. Did they know that some medicines’ side-effects includes spontaneous lactation? No! But it’s funny. Did they know that oral contraceptives can put you in the hospital, or, in some cases, cause you to cry uncontrollably while watching the cast of “Glee” perform on “Oprah”? No, but that’s hilarious too!

And how about female friendships? There is so much bromance everywhere I look. We’ve heard of the bromance, we’ve seen it acted out in the media. “BAND OF BROTHERS.” We see male friends competing over women, or, like, Viking warriors come together to challenge authority and raid England. And let’s compare this to what we see of female friendship, shall we? We learn that women are catty, that we talk about our friends behind their backs, and that cool girls don’t hang out with other women — we hang out with men.We watch sports with men; we enjoy potty humor with men. “THE LEAGUE.” Because why would you want to hang out with those strange, fake bitches, right?

Forget bromances, I LOVE my female friends. I’ve only recently realized how powerful sisterhood is. When I’m feeling happy, sad, apathetic, angry, sad again, I know they’ll be there and I sure as hell will be there for them (aww “Friends” reunion 2014!). My friends have encouraged me to be brave, to grow, to ask people out (because fuck it), and show maturity. Even when I don’t see them in a while and even when they are a continent away, I love my ladies; I’ve got their back. They are my advisors, my cheerleaders, my critics, my financial consultants, my heroes and my family. I am a better person for them. GIRL’S DAY. They are such a central part of my life, and how I see the world, and I know a lot of women who feel the same. If art imitates life, why don’t we see more of that, you know? It’s getting better, but until the day I see a joke about period vomit, it’s just not going to be enough.

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