What Not to Wear — the Tailgate Edition

Make your life look like this.
Make your life look like this. // Juliet Liu

Hey, Macklemore, can we go thrift shopping? Because, you see, I just had to spend the last $20 in my pocket on a ticket to The Game. But the tailgate this weekend is THE Tailgate and we all need to look incredible. Sooooo, what’s a girl to do?

The thing is, this Saturday, we’re taking Harvard’s grand- pa’s style — and more. Yalies take Tailgate Attire seriously, because Halloween simply isn’t enough. Safety Dance — rest in peace — simply isn’t enough. Jammy Jams, Jingle Jams, Rad and DKE’s of Haz- ard, they aren’t enough! As Yoda once said ever-so-elo- quently: “Dress up, we will.”

So on most home game Sat- urdays, we’re used to a cer- tain scene. Yale takes the field — or as of this year, the “Stu- dent Tailgate Village” — as a movement donned in Salva- tion Army’s lost treasures. There are those girls dressed

in head-to-toe neon. A cute choice, but a safe one. We’ve all seen you wear those “fun!” leggings before. For some rea- son, as smart as we are, we Yalies all too often confuse the neon theme

with dressing “80s.” Luck- ily, a lot of people actu- ally wear gar- ments made inthe80s— or, even bet- ter, some kids choose an inspira- tion from the highest point in fashion his- tory: the 90s. Others, mean- while, tend to salute LDR, our favorite Americana queen. They wear the red, white and blue, baby. Stars and stripes forever! Americana is often paired with a fresh pair of jean overalls. So we get girls in daisy dukes, boys in jorts (party on the bottom, business on top, is something of a mantra). Also never missing are a whole bunch of variations on the theme of leisure-wear: There are boys in pajamas, boys in tiny jerseys — and boys in fur hats, for some rea- son. Girls in fur hats, too. Fur hats for everyone!

What up with that? Like con- fused middle school-ers, in our very effort to be to be outlandish, silly!, ¿ironic?, we self-select into various traps of conformity. Of course, there are always the standouts. We’ve seen “Avatar” people, Nikki Minaj, that boy in ADPhi dressed as a pile of leaves (but really, what is that? Anyone? Bueller?)

And yet, without a doubt, every single tailgate, all of these ensembles are swamped by the Silent Majority. They show up wearing a TD zip- up fleece, maybe a navy blue dress. Go Yale! And lezzbe- honest, that’s what most peo- ple are going to wear to the Harvard-Yale Game on Sat- urday. The Silent Majority will not wear a fur hat, but, instead, a baseball cap. The Silent Majority will buy “The Game Shirt” with the punny little gotcha statement. The Silent Majority will decide whether to wear their off-white or navy blue Yale sweater.

More power to them. We all love our Bulldogs in our own ways. We all have com- mon hopes and dreams. Bow wow wow! Don’t let the Silent Majority kill the spirit. On the battleground of fashion, at least, Yale stands a fair chance of winning this Saturday if we so choose. We don’t need to back down. The best is yet to come.

So, readers, get together an outfit that makes spending the $15 on a disposable camera worth every penny. No matter what the scoreboard says, let’s just make sure we can look at our outfits in the mirrors at Harvard Stadium and say, per Macklemore, this is HAR- VARDSUCKING awesome.

 

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