Dance: Dance Revolution?

You can't do these shenanigans unless you registered that off-campus party, mister.

Dear Yale Community,

As you all know, there has been some debate this past week over the cancellation, for the foreseeable future, of the Safety Dance held by Silliman College. The cancellation was due to the rising safety concerns regarding drunkenness and dangerous revelry around campus. Henceforth, because we truly do care about the drinking culture and student well-being here at Yale, we have decided to discontinue the provision of safe, moderated places and events at which to drink. Please take the time to review the following list of adjustments to some of our traditional students “get-togethers.” We think you will find that some of our alternative “socials” can be pretty “off the chain!”

N. Ferguson

Assistant Dean of University-Sponsored Fun

Instead of “Safety Dance,” Yale would like to welcome you to the new “Safety Rules and Regulations Dance!” For just $10, students can join administrators for some exciting and hilarious games aimed at familiarizing students with some of Yale’s most obscure and “wacky” rules! Can you dig it! Plus, enjoy smooth beats with our very own Police Chief and DJ, “Higg Poppa.”

Instead of “Crushes and Chaperones,” get “pumped up” for the new “Chaperones and Chaperones!” We know how much Yalies love the opportunity to gain leadership experience, and this dance will do just that. At this party, everybody is a chaperone! Keep an eye on all your friends, but watch out! They might be keeping an eye on you too!

Instead of traditional “cast parties” held after Yale’s dramatic productions, get ready for a series of late-night chat sessions about the plays with our very own Harold Bloom! Port will be served.

Instead of Calhoun College’s traditional “Trolley Night,” put on your red, yellow and green for “Public Transportation and Infrastructure Expo Night!” Red means, “I’m interested in civil engineering.” Yellow means, “I own a metro card!” Green means, “I only ride a bike.”

Instead of the annual “Highlighter Party,” get your “party face” on for the “Highlighter Party!” Bring your highlighters, ’cause we’re going to be Blue Booking the night away in the Chaplain’s Office, where you can get your very own Blue Book! Get ready for a steamy, unprotected hookup with knowledge!

Instead of the annual “Foam Party,” come to “Phone Party.” Bring your phones!

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