From the Front: Wild and Wooly Tales of Summer

How 10 (actual) Yalies spent their summer vacations:

James Schrumm (TC 2014): “I decided to take advantage of Yale’s wealth by applying for a fellowship, and then by stealing a large sum of money by way of a “clerical error” when my application was denied. I used the money to travel to a country that does not have an extradition treaty with the United States. You’ll never guess where. Unless you guessed Indonesia. Oh crap.”

Arthur Ceiling-Fan (SM 2014): “I got a sweet internship at the local ape preserve brushing the apes’ teeth. Now I know what you’re thinking: it’s a bit ironic that an ape punched all my teeth out while I was trying to brush him. But they euthanized that ape, so who’s laughing now? Actually, given my situation it’s far too painful to laugh, but you get the point.”

Daniel Earp (PC 2013): “Great internship with this small but really innovative non-profit. Would have gotten a lot of hands-on experience if I hadn’t been so afraid to leave the apartment because of my crippling fear of bats.”

Jimmy Jones Spatz (DC 2014): “I forget. My brain was just exploding with knowledge and growing experiences.”

Willomina M. Phillippa-Twibbits (ES 2013.7): “In my Summer Experience, I peed on Ezra Stiles seven times. My hypothesis wasn’t correct.”

Lorena Vipthor (FC Barcelona) “I worked as a ball-boy at the regional tennis club. Well, ball-girl. I guess ball-person is the correct term. Boy, those shiny green balls can really move.”

Daniel Earp (PC 2013) [cont’d]: “Hold on, bats can nest indoors?”

Mortimer D. Lunt (JE &@#!): “Three and a half months of syphilis … yeeaaaecchchhhhh!”

William Venus Williams (ES 20014): “I got a grant to do an art project, which was to talk about doing an art project and smoke 1,000 cigarettes and see if anyone punched me in the face. Art!”

Francine P. Lobe (HTTP://2013): “I interned at my father’s hedge fund and made $10,000. What I did was, Dad put little green slips of paper on my desk, and I put them in my wallet. It was pretty fun, once I got the hang of it.”

Erwin Erwin (TC 4 8 15 16 23 42): “I spent the summer collecting frogs. Did you know that some frogs are poisonous? Anyway, I can’t move my right leg.”

Jebediah Crochet (QR 2015): “I liked it. It wasn’t sad.”

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