The X-Men: Bulldogs to watch off the field

Reason #637 why Yale is more awesome than Harvard: our football players have super powers.

Jeff Marrs ‘13

Besides playing offensive line on the field and scaring other Ivy League wimps with his 270 pounds of muscle, Jeff Marrs ’13 has just as huge of a presence off the field … as an auctioneer.

Marrs inherited his passion for auctioneering from his grandfather — the late Jerry Marrs — who started the Marrs Auction Service. In 2005, Jeff Marrs received two degrees from World Wide College of Auctioneering in Mason City, Iowa: auctioneering and bilingual auctioneering in Spanish and English. ¡Vendido!

“His larger-than-life personality really comes to life in his auctioneering,” said Katie Byrnes, the University’s assistant chaplain, who has heard his chant.

But frankly, besides the fact that he can chant to make you spastically raise your placard to buy anything he holds up, Marrs is also a psychic who can read minds.

“I can scan around the crowd, and whether by body language or some other action, I almost always know who will win the item before I even start selling it,” said Marrs.

Marrs may not be on the field for the Game this year, but he’ll be calling Harvard’s plays as the Bulldogs’ Professor X.

Allen Davis ‘13

You may be familiar with the sight of Allen Davis ’13 in his glorious blue jersey and helmet, playing defensive end. But you’d only know one side of him.

Davis has cultivated multiple identities since the summer of his freshman year in high school.

At Six Flags Over Texas, he worked as a costume character and has learned to morph into Scooby Doo and Marvin the Martian (with the help of black spandex and a red foam skirt).

But Davis’s ultimate metamorphosis was becoming the Green Lantern, which was only possible with the approval of DC comics.

“I’m a pretty big comic book fan so this — and the extra $2 per hour — was awesome,” Davis said.

“He’s kinda nerdy for a football player, but he’s a man,” Wes Moyer ’12 said, with all due affection.

But don’t be fooled, ladies. Davis is macho enough to embrace his inner geek because he also has the power to transform into an Abercrombie & Fitch store model, Clark Kent-style. In this incarnation, Davis has developed his power of saying “Hey, what’s up?” — and only that phrase, per Abercrombie & Fitch regulations. (Clearly, they don’t believe in freedom of speech.)

Look out, Harvard. With Davis, you never know who you’re going to face.

Cameron Sandquist ‘14

Holding a mic is nothing like catching a football, but wide receiver Cameron Sandquist ’14 seems to know how to run with both.

Sandquist won the Mr. Mustang award in 2009 for a comedy routine he wrote and then performed.

“[The Mr. Mustang award is] one of those things I’m most proud of, but a lot of people don’t know about,” Sandquist said.

Although Sandquist said that performing on stage was slightly out of his comfort zone, comedy is something he always thought about pursuing.

“One of my dreams has always been to be a writer for SNL,” Sandquist said.

Even if Harvard thinks they’ve got fighters and maybe a knight on their team, we’ve got the Joker.

Beau Palin ‘14

Beau Palin ’14 is amphibious (and bears no relation to the pitbull in lipstick, so relax). Dominating land on the football field and flying through water as a “barefooter” on Oconomowoc Lake (say that three times fast), Palin takes his sports to the extreme in all seasons.

Barefooting, in layman’s terms, is waterskiing minus the skis. It basically involves the person skidding across the surface of the water behind a boat that is moving around 44 mph — sort of like Jesus-walking-on-water.

Growing up next to Oconomowoc Lake in Wisconsin, Palin first learned how to two-ski behind a boat at age three, and then to barefoot at age seven.

“Barefooting is a passage to manhood,” Palin said.

For him, barefooting is a family affair. Palin considers his eldest brother, Drew Palin ’06, linebacker, to be his greatest teacher in this respect. In the Palin family, there’s also a tradition of barefoot tournaments every Fourth of July where family members and friends show off their speed and style through tricks on the water.

“It’s kind of like flying,” Palin said. “But you get a little wetter.”

Wes Moyer ‘12

Sandquist is not the only stage talent on the football team. Linebacker Wes Moyer ’12 also sings in a student band, Salivating Eyes.

Never having had any formal training, Moyer started Salivating Eyes his freshman year at Yale and has been singing and writing lyrics ever since. His friend, CJ Uy ’12, plays the guitar when the two are recording, but the duo adopts a few backups when they perform live. Salivating Eyes has played at “random Berkeley events,” and venues such as The Space, a music and arts venue in Hamden.

Uy described their music as “Pop-rock, feel-good, have-fun” kind of music.

According to Moyer, their two most popular songs are “Party Tonight” and “Wolfman.” Last year, their song “Break Break” was selected from about 100 entries to be on 17O1 Records’ compilation album, “Blue Noise.”

“Wes brings a cool perspective to the band,” Uy said. “The athlete edge makes him pretty interesting.”

Honorable mentions:

LJ Hunt ’15: Opera singer. I wonder how many shot glasses he can shatter with his voice.

Pat Moran ’12: Son of Congressman Jim Moran. ’nuff said.

James Talerico ’14: House/Techno DJ.

Austin Pulsipher ’12: Mormon missionary in Taiwan. He’s married too. So you know he’s got game.

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