WEEKEND | “I Never Use the World Fabulous.” How Gay Is TOO Gay?

This week on “Savage Love,” sex-columnist Dan Savage’s regular installment of raunchy sex advice, a “straight acting” gay dude with the very clever pseudonym “Straight Actor” wrote in about how masculine and burly and like totally out of touch he is with flaming gay bois. This bro can fix a car, is not attracted to “faggy” men, and never uses the word “fabulous.” All this despite the fact that he majors in musical theatre!

People — gay and straight — are so picky about how they like their gays. Some want “Str8 Acting” Abercrombie bros, some like ‘em with a tank full of sugar, and some couldn’t care less. Every gay reading this has come across a Manhunt/Adam4Adam/ DList profile that’s like, “If you open your mouth and your purse falls out, we’re not a match.” Oh pop off, you genderists!

Let me tell you something, Straight Actor. It takes a lot of balls to be a huge, flaming queer. You’re basically begging everyone to call you out for not being boring and dull and straight-acting like everybody else. Fabulous is risky business, people. Try walking around in a pair of Nina Ricci heelless boots.

But what do you think? Is there such a thing as being TOO gay? What’s wrong with a boy in a sequin embroidered cat suit?


  • RexMottram08

    There are many things wrong with being a boy in a sequin embroidered cat suit.

    The hyper-“fabulous” sub-set of gay culture is completely immature and unworthy of respect.

  • River Tam

    There is something wrong with *anyone* in a sequin-embroidered cat suit.

  • richardespinosa


    however one chooses to express their gender is a wonderful thing that should be supported and encouraged. this anti-“fem” crap in the gay community is nothing more than internalized homophobia. who you’re attracted to is your own business, obviously (although it might warrant some examining and parsing), but to outwardly discriminate against a certain subset of the oppressed minority to which you belong is cruel and politically self-sabotaging. the impulse to butch it up and to disavow your love of a good showtune is so strong, and it comes not only from outside the LGBT community but within as well. so sad! the term “straight-acting” in itself is so laughable and farcical. why do we fetishize these speech patterns, mannerisms, patterns of self-styling while at the same time admitting it is of a community that is not our own?

  • Yale12

    What IS this? Is this seriously an open invitation from WEEKEND to discuss and criticize peoples’ sexualities?

    WEEKEND is a complete and utter joke.

  • rr22

    i think the important thing is to realize what seems obvious but might not be to straight people: that just like straight people, gays come in all shapes and sizes with many different personality types, many different preferences, etc. the stereotype of what a gay person is like needs to go away, and fast.,